Endgame
by Janechak
Summary: An alternate J/C version of Endgame. B'Elanna intends to change history. Admiral Janeway and her daughter try to stop her.
1. Chapter 1

**The characters belong to Paramount... Just borrowing!**

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**ENDGAME**

**Chapter 1**

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**_Chaos killed the calm on the Bridge of the USS Voyager. The starship began to shake violently and all lights dimmed and flashed. An unbearable screech echoed all around, drowning the cries of the desperate crew. On the view screen, flourescent colours glowed and then swirled madly. The ship began to spin, faster, faster. Everything was a maze of colour. Nothing to see but merging colour, nothing to hear but a deafening screech... The ship was being consumed, life draining, nothing to do, nothing to do but scream..._**

Admiral Kathryn Janeway woke with a start. She could hardly breathe and her body was drenched in sweat. She buried her head in her hands, waited for the images and sounds that haunted her to fade into midnight silence. At last they did, all was quiet. She commanded soft light, and then slowly got out of bed. She went over to the replicator and replicated herself a mug of hot chocolate. Her hands trembled as she picked it up and put it to her mouth. The warmth was soothing, the taste comforting. She wandered over to the window and gazed out at the sky full of stars, sparkling like diamonds against black velvet. The moon was full, bright, a lamp casting white light on the Earth. It was hard to imagine that once she had been amongst the distant stars, that once she had been at the other side of the galaxy. She had loved there, had lost there, and it was devastating to know that the remains of those she had loved were so far away it would take almost thirty thousand years just for light to reach them. Tears blurred her vision and she turned away. As she did so, she caught a glimpse of a photograph of the Voyager senior crew resting on her dressing table. She wandered over to it and picked it up. She gazed tearfully at the faces before her. Chakotay, Tom, Tuvok, Seven, the Doctor. She put down her drink and tenderly touched the glass frame, ran her fingers over their faces. She could see them now, could hear them. They were laughing in the Mess Hall, the Doctor singing. Even Seven was laughing as she played with baby Miral while Tom and B'Elanna danced. She could see Chakotay step forward, offer her his hand to dance, could feel his arms encircle her... 

A sharp pain suddenly gripped her left side and the picture fell clumsily onto the dressing table. The Admiral clutched her side, moaned lightly as the familiar pain moved across her back, burning like fire. She walked over to her bedside table and fumbled in the draw for a hypospray she kept there. She put the spray to her neck and slowly the pain began to recede. She climbed back in her bed as haze fell before her eyes and pulled the covers tight around herself. Voices called out to her, dozens and dozens of voices echoing. Ghosts of the past. They were forever tormenting her. They would never leave her alone. Never. 

*****

Blue skies stretched over green fields and a golden sun blazed down on acres of farmland. From a small window of an old run down farm house, B'Elanna watched as Ayala fed her pack of Rottweilers. He limped as he moved about the yard and his steps were slow, painful. Greying black hair tumbled over hunched shoulders and his weathered face was covered with a beard that reached to his chest. B'Elanna turned her attention from Ayala to the reflection of a Klingon warrior in the glass.   
"How much longer are you going to keep me waiting?"   
She saw the Klingon shuffle uncomfortably. "There are complications."   
"There are always complications." She turned to him. "All you give me is excuse after excuse. I want that deflector, understand?"   
He nodded. "I will have it for you within four days."   
"Two," B'Elanna said uncompromisingly. "Within two days."   
He nodded again. "Two days."   


*****

On a long white screen that adorned a cream wall, Admiral Janeway watched from a black couch as the ship she had once captained soared through a black San Francisco sky. All around the ship fireworks burst into rainbows of colour and on the ground beneath, thousands upon thousands of people cheered.   
"These should be familiar images to everyone who remembers the USS Voyager's triumphant return to Earth after twenty three years in the Delta Quadrant. Voyager captivated the hearts and minds of people throughout the Federation, and on this, the tenth anniversary of the ship's triumphant return, we will look once again at what the famous crew accomplished before and after tragedy struck on the tenth of July 2380..."   
Tears welled in Janeway's eyes as images of her once youthful crew filled the screen.   
"We shall honour those who died with a special..."   
"Computer, end display."   
Instantly the screen blanked and all was silent. Janeway wiped away a tear, fought to hold back the rest that would fall. Her hands were clammy, her breathing rapid. She had to calm herself, had to stay in control. Any moment now, Reginald Barclay would arrive to escort her to Voyager's tenth return anniversary party. Every part of her was screaming at the thought of it. Everyone would expect her to smile, to laugh, to be once again the Captain they had known or imagined her to be. She couldn't do it...not anymore...She couldn't pretend....couldn't keep pretending.   
Suddenly the door chime sounded.   
Janeway froze. He was here, here to take her. She couldn't go, not this time...   
But she had to. She couldn't let them down. Attend was the least she could do for them. The door chime sounded again and this time Janeway got up to open the door. As she expected, Reg Barclay stood in the doorway. He smiled warmly at her.   
"All ready, Admiral?"   
"Almost," she said, forcing a smile. "Come in."   
Barclay stepped into the living room and Janeway went over to a full length mirror that graced a wall. The reflection she saw there was a world away from the young captain who had so eagerly accepted the mission to capture Chakotay and his crew. Her hair was white now and her face old and tired. Black shadows circled her eyes, but there was no trace of tears on her cheeks. She looked as well as she could ever expect too.   
"Not like you to be unpunctual, Admiral," Barclay teased.   
"No," she replied, tidying a brown scarf she wore around her neck. "But just like you to be early."   
She left the mirror and picked up a black jacket from the arm of the couch. Barclay watched her put it on. "Do you think B'Elanna Paris will come this year?"   
Janeway momentarily froze, but then resumed her activity. "I don't know, Reg. But as she's never been to a reunion before, I doubt she'll come to this one."   
"It's such a shame. She is the only one who doesn't attend. Why is that?"   
Janeway didn't answer the question. Instead, she turned to him. "Alright, I'm ready."   


*****

Music and laughter echoed around a luxurious complex where a reunion party was being held for the surviving Voyager crew. A young girl with a tray of champagne approached Janeway. Janeway thanked the girl as she took a glass and smiled warmly at her. She then turned to her companion and the young girl went on her way.   
"So, Harry," she said, putting her hand on his shoulder as they began to walk. "What have you planned for your next adventure?"   
The once youthful ensign was aged now. His black hair was speckled snow white and his complexion was a maze of lines. "I'm heading an exploration mission into deep space."   
"Congratulations. How long will you be gone?"   
"Ten months. I'm still new to command so I think they're testing me out before they give me longer missions." He paused. "How's B'Elanna these days?"   
"I don't know," Janeway said sadly. "She still wants nothing to do with me."   
Harry stopped walking and turned to her. "I can't believe the way she's treated you all these years. She has no right to blame you for what happened."   
Janeway averted her eyes and gazed into the golden bubbles of her champagne. "Some people need someone to blame. If it helps B'Elanna to blame me, then so be it."   
"But it's wrong. You were our anchor, our strength. Without you I don't think any of us would have got through those months after the disaster. You were going through hell too and yet you inspired and encouraged us all to keep hoping, to keep living."   
"Don't judge B'Elanna, Harry," Janeway said looking up at him. "She needs our help, our compassion." She paused. "Perhaps you should go and see her before you leave."   
"I don't know," Harry said sadly. "She's so angry and bitter that it's hard to be around her. We've all lost people we love, all suffered."   
"Please, Harry," Janeway begged. "She has no one but Ayala. She needs to know we all still care."   
Harry hesitated, but then relented. "Alright, I'll go for you. But it won't be until next week as I'm going to stay with my parents before I leave for deep space."   
Janeway smiled warmly. "Thank you."   
A tall young woman with jet black hair swept up from her face in a plaited bun, approached them from the rear. Her eyes were a deep brown and a tattoo was emblazoned on the left side of her temple. She crept up behind Janeway and put her hands over her eyes.   
"Guess who..."   
Janeway laughed and wheeled to face her. "Shannon?"   
The girl smiled, her eyes glowing. "Surprise."   
Janeway swept the girl into her arms. "I wasn't expecting you until next week."   
"I got early leave so I could be here."   
She drew away and Harry smiled at her. "Shannon Janeway, how you've grown. I would never have recognised you."   
Shannon grinned. "Lieutenant Shannon Janeway now, if you please."   
"Some people get all the luck," Harry teased. "Your mother kept me an ensign for years and years."   
Janeway smiled and poked his stomach. "But you're a Captain now, so don't complain."   
She turned back to Shannon. "I'm so glad you're here, Shannon, but what of your research?"   
"I got everything done that I needed too. I won't need to do any more research for at least six months."   
Janeway smiled, but there was a sadness in her eyes.   
Barclay interrupted, hitting his glass. "Ladies and gentleman, if I could have your attention please..."   
Everyone turned to him.   
"Ten years ago tonight, this crew returned home from the longest away mission in Starfleet's history. Twenty-three years together made you a family. One I'm proud to have been adopted by. So, let's raise our glasses...to the journey."   
"To the journey," the crowd said in unison.   
"And to those who aren't here to celebrate it with us," Janeway added.   


*****

  
Soft light cast a warm glow around Janeway's living room. Janeway took off her jacket and sat on her inviting couch and instinctively rubbed her neck. The party had left her exhausted and her body ached. Shannon approached her and Janeway smiled as she took a cup of hot milk with honey her daughter offered her.   
"Thankyou, darling."   
Shannon sat beside her on the couch. "Are you sure there's nothing else I can get you? You look very pale."   
"I'm just tired. The party took more out of me than I thought it would."   
"You work yourself too hard, Mom. You need to slow down, take things easy."   
Janeway smiled. "Is this the 'it's time for you to retire' talk?"   
"Yes. You know you should. You need to rest."   
"I need to work, Shannon. I need to be active. And you know how much I love my job. I need to work as long as I can. They won't keep me forever, you know. One of these days I'll be given the word and there'll be retirement parties and all the usual ceremony. I'll have plenty of time to take it easy then." She took Shannon's hand. "It's you I want to talk about."   
"Me?"   
"I was talking to Admiral Carter the other day. He told me you were offered a position as science officer on the USS Orient, but that you declined."   
Shannon averted her eyes. "The USS Orient is going on a three year exploration of deep space. I couldn't possibly leave you that long."   
"Of course you can. This is a wonderful opportunity, something you've always dreamed of doing. Captain Hargreaves is keeping the place open for you for two weeks, hoping you'll change your mind."   
Shannon stood up. "It's out of the question."   
"But think how this will further your career. You have a lot to offer. You have an incredible mind. Admiral Carter says you're the most promising scientist of your generation. You can't waste your life working on the ground with only the occasional exploration mission just because you don't want to leave me."   
Shannon turned to face her mother, tears wetting her eyes.   
"You're dying!"   
She turned away, but the die was cast.   
Janeway put down her drink, went over to her, and took her in her arms. "Shannon, my darling, there's every chance I will live for years yet. We have some of the best medical scientists in the Federation working on a cure and the new medicine they've given me has slowed down the progression of the disease immensely." She paused. "I know my illness influences you too, but I want it to have as little impact on your life as is possible. I don't want to be an albatross around your neck, don't want to stand in your way. I want you to be happy, to live life to the full."   
Shannon drew away from her. "Then let me make my own decisions about my life. It's up to me whether I want to go on this exploration mission and I don't. There will be other missions, other opportunities, but there will never be another you. I'm happy working on the ground and going on routine missions. I don't have to go to space to fill my potential as a scientist. There are plenty of projects I can work on from the Academy, very exciting projects. I'm content, Mom, truly. Since Father died, we've only really had each other, and we need each other now." A tear ran down her cheek. "I love you so much, Mom."   
Janeway drew her close again and held her tight. "I love you too."   


*****

Glass doors that lead onto a balcony opened as Janeway and Deanna Troi came through them.   
"I just called by to see how the reunion went," Deanna said as she sat down in a wicker chair. "I know they are always difficult for you."   
Janeway sat beside her. "They say things are supposed to get easier with time but the reunions seem to get harder every year. For a moment last night I didn't even think I could go."   
"There's been a lot of interest in this reunion, a lot of public attention. That would make it harder."   
Janeway looked out across the San Francisco skyline that stretched out beneath her. "I can't believe it's only ten years since we returned. It seems an eternity ago." She paused.   
"I'll never forget the way everyone cheered, the way fireworks lit the sky, so much jubilance. To those millions of people watching it was a real triumph. Against all odds we had made it home. It didn't matter to them that it had been a crew of 153 that had left all those years ago to chase a Maquis ship into the Badlands, but only a crew of 24 that made   
it home. I felt nothing when we reached the Federation, felt nothing when I saw Earth on the view screen for the first time, and felt nothing when Voyager landed and we all disembarked. I still feel nothing."   
"You still blame yourself for what happened, don't you?"   
"I was captain of the ship. It was my responsibility to keep the crew safe."   
"Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. I thought you had accepted that."   
"I've tried, Deanna, but it doesn't matter from what angle I view the whole, I always see the same picture."   
The glass doors opened again as Shannon appeared. "Do you think we'll need winter sleeping bags or summer?" She stopped when she saw her mother had company and flushed a little. "Deanna, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were here."   
Deanna smiled. "Going somewhere?"   
"Shannon has a week vacation so I've taken a few days off so we can go on a camping trip to Indiana."   
"Camping, adventurous. When are you leaving?"   
"In a couple of hours."   
"And here's me trespassing on your time," Deanna said, getting up from her chair.   
"Not at all," Janeway protested, "Please, sit."   
"I think I'd better leave you get organized." She put her hand on Janeway's shoulder.   
"Remember, I'm always around if you want to talk."   
Janeway smiled warmly. "Thank you."   
Deanna began to walk towards the doors. "Goodbye, Shannon."   
"Goodbye."   
Janeway accompanied Deanna to the door and Shannon followed them inside. When Deanna had left, Janeway went over to her daughter. "What was it you asked me?"   
"Which sleeping bags we should take, winter or summer."   
Janeway smiled. "There's an easy answer to that, we'll take them both."   
She walked over to the couch and, as she sat down, took a grape from a bowl on her coffee table. Shannon hesitantly approached her. "You will be alright, won't you, Mom? This trip won't be too much for you?"   
Janeway looked up at her, trying to hide the frustration she felt at the concern her illness caused her daughter. "I'll be fine. The fresh air and exercise will do me good."   
Shannon was about to speak when the computer told them they were receiving an incoming transmission. Janeway sighed. "On screen."   
A distorted image appeared on screen, but she was able to see that it was Ayala. The sound cracked when he spoke, making it difficult to understand everything he said.   
"Got to help...B'Elanna...She's got a temporal deflector...She's taken the Delta Flyer...wants to change history...wants you to accept the Zyranth offer...Got to stop her... Can't tell Starfleet...suffered enough...Tried to stop her... won't listen...You've got too..."   
The transmission ended abruptly.   
Janeway stared at the screen as the meaning of Ayala's words sank in.   
Shannon turned to her mother. "Where would B'Elanna get a temporal deflector?"   
"I don't know," Janeway replied. "But there's no way the Delta Flyer could withstand the force of a temporal rift. If she tries to use it, tries to enter a rift, the ship will just explode."   
She took a deep breath. "Come on, we don't have a moment to lose." 

*****

Shannon piloted her mother's shuttle while Janeway tried to locate the Delta Flyer on sensors.   
"Once we're clear of Federation ships," Janeway said, studying the screen before her, "bring the cloak online. We don't want B'Elanna to detect us."   
"How can you be sure she's heading for deep space?"   
"Because if I was going to create a temporal rift, that's where I'd be heading."   
She suddenly felt a sharp pain in her side and clutched it a moment. Shannon turned to her anxiously.   
"It's alright, Shannon," Janeway replied. "The pain will pass."   
She tried to ignore the stabbing sensation and turned back to the console. The bright colours blurred before her eyes but she forced herself to focus.   
"We're clear of the ships," she said. "Engage the cloak."   
Shannon brought the cloak online.   
"I don't understand."   
"Don't understand what?"   
"What Ayala meant about the Zyranth offer, about accepting it. You did accept it."   
Janeway tensed and was a moment in answering. "By the Zyranth offer, Ayala didn't mean the day the Zyranth helped us return to the Alpha Quadrant."   
"Then what did he mean?"   
"We'd encountered the Zyranth before...two years before the disaster. They weren't as advanced then, but still they had some impressive technology. They offered us a way home, but we declined it, thinking it was too dangerous."   
"And was it?"   
Again Janeway hesitated. "I thought it was a risk worth taking, but everyone except Harry was against it, even your father."   
"Do you wish you had accepted the offer?"   
Tears welled in Janeway's eyes. "Yes. I should have followed my instinct. But I... I was afraid. For seven years I had blamed myself for stranding Voyager...not for destroying the array...but for stranding the crew in the process. I thought I should have discussed the matter with the crew, tried to find a way of both destroying the array and using it to get Voyager home. I didn't want to make an alone decision again." She paused. "But it wasn't until after the disaster that I realised I had been right the first time...right in following my instinct and making a decision for everyone. We were under attack from the Kazon, no time to debate things, no time to launch escape pods, shuttles, and try and use the array to transport them across the galaxy. When the Zyranth offered us a way home, I should have accepted it, made that decision for the crew, taken that responsibility upon myself as all captains need to from time to time. For seven years I had saddled myself with unnecessary guilt and all it achieved was saddling me with a greater one..." She was interrupted from thought as she saw a ship on sensors. "We have something..." She worked the console, tried to determine if the ship ahead was indeed the Delta Flyer. "Yes...it's her...it's the Flyer."   
"What shall we do now?"   
"There's no point hailing her as she won't respond. I'll have to transport to her ship. She's going to need a lot of energy to generate a temporal rift. It's unlikely she's wasting it on shields." She stood up. "Keep in close pursuit." She put her hand on Shannon's shoulder, kissed her forehead, and then went over to the transporter pad. Shannon initialised transport and then watched as her mother dematerialised. 

*****

It had been almost a quarter of a century since Janeway had last been in the Delta Flyer, but it was just as she remembered it. Time had not touched it. She saw B'Elanna sitting at the helm and a lump gathered in her throat as she remembered the caring and vivacious young woman she once had been. Time had touched her too harshly. Her former Chief Engineer was oblivious to her presence and Janeway slowly walked over to her. She stood behind her, not too close. When she spoke, her voice was gentle, compassionate.   
"If you try and take this vessel into a temporal rift, neither you or the ship will survive."   
B'Elanna jumped to her feet and span to face Janeway. Her eyes were hard, cold. "What the hell are you doing here?"   
"Ayala told me of your plan."   
"He did, did he? Damn traitor!"   
"He was concerned about you."   
"And you? What are you concerned about? It sure as hell isn't me. You're just concerned that my plan will succeed!"   
"The Delta Flyer won't be able to hold structural integrity inside a temporal rift because of the pressure. Another ship, perhaps, but not this one. It's not built for time-travel. If you take it into a temporal rift, it will explode."   
B'Elanna stepped away from her. "No, Kathryn. There's a chance it might explode. Who's the engineer here? And unlike you, I'm willing to take chances."   
"It was a shared decision to refuse the Zyranth offer."   
"Only because you were too gutless to make the decision you know you should have. By refusing that offer, you sent over a hundred people to their deaths." She paused. "But you've never cared, have you? As a result of what happened, you got a lover and a damn miracle baby!"   
"I understand that you need to blame me, B'Elanna, but don't think for a minute think that I've never cared, that I haven't suffered. Not a day has gone by when I haven't tortured myself over what happened. You can't imagine the burden of guilt that I carry."   
"And you expect me to believe that? You expect me to believe you thought about all those people who died when you were making love to Chakotay? That you were thinking of them when you held your daughter in your arms for the first time?"   
"That isn't fair."   
"I'll tell you what isn't fair. It isn't fair that the only one who benefited from the disaster was the one responsible for it. It should have been you who died. Not Tom, not Miral, not anyone else, but you, just you. But then, you always did land on your feet, didn't you? The great Captain Kathryn Janeway, goddess of Starfleet, heroine of the Delta Quadrant. Even after all the blood you shed, they still decorated you when we got home and made you a God damned Admiral!"   
"I would gladly have given my life in exchange for the lives of the crew, you know that."   
B'Elanna shook her head. "All I know is that their suffering, all our suffering, is your fault. And if you cared, truly cared, you'd let me do this. You'd let me go back in time and change things for the better."   
"Even if you did survive the rift and made the changes you wanted to, you don't know it would be for the better..."   
"I know it couldn't be any worse!"   
"And what of the temporal prime directive? What gives you the right to change a timeline that effects millions and billions of lives? What gives you the right to judge what is better? Better for who? Better for you, better for humanity? Just one change in the timeline could have catastrophic consequences. We don't have the right to change things, to judge who lives and who dies."   
"And that's the real reason, isn't it? Spit it out, Admiral, tell me the truth. You're afraid that if I succeed, your daughter won't exist..."   
"That's not what I meant..."   
"Yes it is. It's all about her. Who are you to say your daughter has the right to live but mine doesn't? What's your answer to that? Come on, Kathryn, you're so full of answers. Why does your daughter live and mine doesn't?"   
Janeway reached out to her. "I wish I had answers, B'Elanna, I..."   
B'Elanna shook her off. "Don't touch me. Don't come near me! If it was your little girl dead, you'd be doing this. You'd have got the deflector and killed me to get hold of it."   
"You have to grieve, B'Elanna, you have to let go of all this anger, this resentment..."   
"No, I know what I have to do. I have to make things better." She began to work the console. "And not you or anyone else is going to stop me."   
Janeway swallowed. "What are you doing?"   
"I'm sending you back to your shuttle."   
"No, B'Elanna...please..."   
But it was too late, she was already dematerialising. 

*****

Janeway rematerialised in her shuttle. Shannon was still at the helm, pursuing the ship before her.   
"We're going to have to disable the Flyer," Janeway said, making her way to the front of the cabin. Shannon turned around at the sound of her mother's voice. "What happened?"   
"She wouldn't listen," Janeway said, taking her seat. "We're going to have to disable the Flyer so she can't enter the rift."   
"But we might hurt her."   
"If she enters the rift, it will kill her, now just do it!"   
Shannon did as she was told and fired at the Delta Flyer. There was no effect.   
"She's enhanced shields," her mother said. "Keep trying."   
Suddenly a blue ball of light appeared in the distance.   
"She's generating the rift," Janeway cried. "Take us in closer, increase weapons fire."   
The rift grew larger and larger as they drew closer and they were almost upon it.   
"Fire now..."   
Shannon aimed and fired, but still the Flyer's shields held.   
"Again," Janeway cried, "again."   
Shannon tried, but the console wouldn't respond.   
"Controls aren't responding," Shannon cried. "I'm locked out..."   
Suddenly the computer voice began to speak nonsensically and the ship's lights flashed and dimmed.   
"We're heading straight for the rift," Shannon yelled, "nothing I can do..."   
On the viewscreen before them they saw the Delta Flyer fly into the rift at maximum warp. Seconds later, they too were inside it. Blue waves swirled around them, growing whiter as they reached the centre. They were pushed back against their chair by a crushing force and it seemed as though all air had been sucked out of the cabin. Janeway struggled against the overbearing pressure to reach for her daughter's hand. She felt Shannon clutch her hand tight. The white light was strong now, the pressure suffocating. On the view screen the Delta Flyer exploded into a billion pieces. Janeway squeezed Shannon's hand tighter as they soared through the flames into the heart of the temporal rift. The white light blinded them and then the ship span out of control. 

*****

Shannon stirred awake. When she moved, pain surged through her body and when she opened her eyes, there was nothing to see but a pale blue light drowned in mist. She didn't know where she was, what had happened. But as the mist cleared from her eyes and she recognised the inside of the shuttle, it all began to come back to her.   
Her mother.   
Panic rose inside her as she remembered that her mother had been with her. With supreme effort she managed to sit up. She looked around. Her mother was lying awkwardly on the floor a few feet away from her. Ignoring the pain, Shannon dragged herself over to her. Janeway was unconscious and there was a deep gash on the left side of her head that was bleeding quite badly. With trembling fingers, Shannon frantically felt for her pulse. Frightened tears welled in her eyes when she couldn't find it. "No," she cried, "no, Mom."   
She lay beside her mother, rested her head on her shoulder, and wept softly.   
"Computer," she said after a while, "where are we?"   
_This vessel is in the Delta Quadrant._   
The Delta Quadrant. No, it was impossible, they couldn't have made it all the way through the rift... But if they had, if they were in the Delta Quadrant...   
Shannon sat up a little.   
"When are we?"   
_The year is 2378. The stardate is 54973.4_   
Then they had. They had made it through the rift and had travelled through time.   
_We were brought to this space and time by a temporal rift that has now collapsed. We sustained heavy damage but all primary systems are operational._   
Shannon's tears ebbed. If they were in the past, the future hadn't happened yet. If it hadn't happened yet, it could be changed. All this wouldn't have to happen. So much that had caused her mother pain wouldn't have to happen.   
"Computer, can you detect a ship, the USS Voyager?"   
_Vessel detected._   
"How far, how far away?"   
_O.9642 light years._   
"Is our cloak still online?"   
_Affirmative. _   
"Then set a course, maximum warp."   
She touched her mother's face and a tear ran down her cheek.   
"I'm going to make it better, Mom, going to make it better." 

*****

**END OF CHAPTER 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

The USS Voyager was in orbit of an m-class planet and several alien spacecrafts surrounded it. Inside sickbay, B'Elanna cradled her new born baby while the Doctor worked busily at a monitor, humming to himself as he did so. Sickbay doors opened and Tom came in. B'Elanna looked up at him as he walked over to her.   
"About time. I thought you'd abandoned us."   
"I couldn't get here," he said, kissing her cheek softly. "These Zyranth people are everywhere. You literally have to fight your way through the corridors."   
He kissed his baby. "And how is my beautiful little Miral today?"   
"Tired, I hope," B'Elanna said. "She cried half the night."   
Tom took the child in his arms and gazed at her adoringly. "She's so perfect," he said softly. "Just like her mother."   
"Careful, mister," B'Elanna smiled, "or flattery will get you everywhere."   
Sickbay doors opened again and a group of aliens entered. They were very tall and a distinctive shade of purple. Their appearance was rather unnerving, but they were one of the friendliest people the crew had ever encountered and were genuinely fascinated by Voyager. The Doctor immediately left his monitor and hurried over to them.   
"I'm sorry, sickbay is not part of the tour today. I have a new mother and baby in here who need peace and quiet. Be on your way please."   
Tom smiled as he watched the Doctor usher them through the door. "A fountain of charm, I must say."   
"Try being cooped up with him for hour after hour. He's driving me crazy."   
The Doctor walked over to B'Elanna. "I heard that, Lieutenant. It's not much fun for me either having a baby crying in my earole when I'm trying to concentrate."   
"Then let me return to my quarters," she egged.   
"You need to be supervised."   
"It's not like I'm going far. You can check up on me anytime."   
"Give you an excuse to leave sickbay and meet some of the Zyranth," Tom said. "I hear they are very impressed with your vocal skills."   
The Doctor's ego was stroked. "They are?"   
"Absolutely. Icheb says your recordings are going like hot cakes."   
The Doctor straightened himself proudly. "Very well, B'Elanna, I'll allow you to return to your quarters. But you must stay in bed, no exertion."   
"Understood, Doctor."   
He sighed contentedly. "Well, then, I think I'll take a stroll around the ship...speak to my admirers."   
As he left sickbay, B'Elanna turned to Tom. "You are terrible, Tom Paris. Are the Zyranth really interested in the Doc's singing?"   
"Well," he smiled, "if they're not, they soon will be."   


*****

Chakotay tried to push his way through crowds of excited Zyranths to make his way to Astrometrics. Every now and then someone stopped him, either wanting to ask him a question or talk about the ship. At last he made it to his destination, all the more worse for wear.   
"I see you only narrowly survived the mayhem," Seven said, glancing at him quickly before turning her attention once more to the screen before her.   
"Only narrowly," he smiled. "It's on occasions like this that I miss Neelix. He would have had everything underhand. But at least Tuvok's in his element cataloging all "damage" to the ship. Last time we opened the ship like this he came up with a three page report. I can't wait to see how long this one is." He paused. "What did you want to see me about?"   
"I have detected a nebula, fifteen light years away, that appears to contain a multitude of wormholes."   
Chakotay scrutinised the screen, interpreted the visuals. "Do any of them lead to the Alpha Quadrant?"   
"It's impossible to tell at this distance."   
Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. "I'll inform the Captain. She might want to cut short our shoreleave and explore this nebula."   
"They may not be wormholes," Seven said as he turned away.   
He turned back to her. "What else could they be?"   
"I think there may be a Borg transwarp hub buried inside the nebula. There are only six in the galaxy and I know there is one somewhere in this region of the Delta Quadrant."   
Chakotay swallowed nervously. "If there is a Borg transwarp hub, there will be Borg. Have you detected any cubes?"   
"Yes. A dozen within the last hour at least."   
Chakotay inhaled sharply. "This nebula, is it on our charted course?"   
"Yes."   
"Then you'll have to plot another one. Hub or no hub, if that nebula is crawling with Borg, we're going to stay well clear of it."   
"The only alternative course takes us through a region of space highly concentrated with gas clouds and thousands of astroids."   
"It's preferable to a confrontation with the Borg. Send the course corrections to the Bridge and I'll inform the Captain." 

*****

The Borg infant smiled in Janeway's arms and shook a rattle at the alien looking down at her. She liked the colour of his skin, the way a silver cloak he was wearing sparkled in the light, and the glittering rainbow belt he wore around his waist.   
"Interesting creature," he said, gently touching her face. "Will the implants grow as she does?"   
"They will adapt," Janeway replied. "We're hoping the Doctor will be able to remove more of them as she grows."   
"I have never heard of any drones being retrieved from the Collective and regaining their individuality. Yet you have retrieved several. Remarkable."   
The door chime sounded.   
"Come in," Janeway cried.   
Chakotay came in. "May I have a word, Captain?"   
She nodded and turned to the alien. "Excuse us a moment, Storvorak." She then turned to a young Ensign who was standing quietly behind her and held out the baby to her.   
"All yours, Ensign."   
Janeway and Chakotay then retired to her bedroom. She turned to him as the silver doors closed behind them.   
"What is it?"   
"Seven's found a nebula fifteen light years away that she believes contains a Borg transwarp hub. The whole region is crawling with Borg."   
Janeway took a deep breath as she absorbed this. "This nebula, is it on course?"   
"Yes. Unfortunately, if we circumvent, we'll be travelling through dangerous space for a while. But I think it's preferable to a confrontation with the Borg."   
"Without a doubt."   
"I also think we should cut short our shoreleave and get the hell out of here."   
"Agreed. I'll tell Storvorak that we need to resume our journey." 

Janeway and Chakotay returned to her living room.   
"Alright, Sarah," Janeway said, addressing the young ensign who was politely answering Storvorak's questions, "you and Emily can leave now."   
The girl nodded, almost in relief, and left the room. Chakotay followed her and Janeway walked over to her guest.   
"I hope everything is alright," he asked, genuinely concerned.   
"Yes, thank you," Janeway replied. "My First Officer was just politely telling me that we really need to resume our journey. We have a long way to go."   
Storvorak stepped forward. "It may not be necessary."   
Janeway looked at him in confusion.   
"Your journey." He paused. " I know to you we are a humble species, but we know this region of space well, and I think in this case can be of assistance to you."   
"In what way?"   
"There is a Borg transwarp hub, fifteen light years from here, buried inside a nebula. Using cloaking technology, we have been observing the hub for years. We plan to destroy it soon and free this region from the threat of assimilation, a threat that clouds our joy, our freedom to explore space as much as we would like." He paused. "We have details on almost every aperture and could supply you with the co-ordinates of one leading to the Alpha Quadrant. We could also provide you with our cloaking technology that would enable you to enter the nebula undetected. "   
Janeway's eyes lit up with temptation but she maintained caution. "I would have to discuss such a plan with my senior officers."   
Storvorak nodded and smiled. "Then you do that. In the meantime, I will order my people to vacate your ship."   
Janeway smiled. "Thank you." 

*****

All the senior staff, except B'Elanna, were present in the briefing room as Janeway told them of the offer.   
"We have waited seven years for an opportunity like this," she said, studying the faces of everyone who sat before her, trying to interpret their expression, trying to find some glimmer of enthusiasm. "We have no reason to distrust these people, every reason to believe the mission would be a success." She paused. "Seven years ago I made a decision that stranded this crew 75,000 light years and a lifetime's journey from the Federation. Not for a moment have I regretted destroying the array and saving the lives of the Ocampa, but I have often regretted the way I made that decision. I made it alone. I should have discussed the matter with you all, should have explored other avenues, avenues that would have allowed us to destroy the array and get home. I won't make an alone decision this time. This decision has to be your decision."   
A long silence followed and everyone looked at each other uncomfortably. Tom was the first one to speak.   
"I think it's too risky. I say we decline."   
Harry turned sharply to him. "I say we accept."   
There was a tense silence. Chakotay broke it. "I'm with Tom. I think it's too risky. If the Borg detect us, we would all be assimilated." He turned to Seven. "Seven?"   
"I am not convinced the Borg are unaware of their presence in the nebula. It's quite possible the Borg choose to ignore them."   
"Oh come on, Seven," Harry said, "when have the Borg ever ignored anyone? If they knew about them, they would have assimilated them."   
"We only have their word for it that this cloaking technology they wish to give us works," Tom continued. "They may be deceiving us, using us as guinea pigs. For all we know, this technology may never have been used before."   
"Then how come they can supply us with the details of an aperture than leads to the Alpha Quadrant?"   
"We only have their word for that too."   
Janeway turned to Tuvok. "Tuvok, what is your opinion?"   
"I also agree with Mr Paris. I believe entering the nebula would most likely result in our destruction rather than our return to the Alpha Quadrant."   
"No," Harry cried, "you're all just cowards. If we don't take risks, we'll never get home."   
"You don't have the safety of a wife or a child to think about," Tom cried.   
"No," Harry replied, "I have a family over thirty thousand light years away to think about, a family I want to get back too! You just don't want to get home. You've said often enough that your life on Voyager is better than what you ever had back there..."   
Janeway interrupted. "That's enough, Mr Kim."   
"But..."   
"I said enough." She paused. "I say we put this to the vote. All those in favour of accepting the offer, raise your hand."   
Only Harry raised his hand.   
Janeway took a deep breath. "Then we refuse." She stood up. "Commander Chakotay, show Storvorak in. The rest of you, dismissed."   
As they left, Janeway's eye caught Harry's. He shook his head at her in disapproval and then hurried from the room. 

When they had all departed, Chakotay showed Storvorak in and then left him and Janeway alone.   
Storvorak walked over to Janeway. "Have your officers decided?"   
She nodded and there was infinite sadness in her eyes. "I'm afraid we must decline."   
The alien averted his eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that."   
"But it was a most generous offer," Janeway said, trying to overcome the tremor in her voice. "Thank you very much."   
Storvorak looked up at her and smiled warmly, but sadly. "If you should you change your mind, the offer will stand for as long as the hub does."   
"Thank you," Janeway said again, tears welling in her eyes.   
He took her hand in his. "I hope you find your way home, Captain. I truly hope you find it."   
There was something in the way he said those words that sent a cold shiver down her spine. He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently.   
"Blessings be with you."   
"And with you," she whispered.   
She watched him leave the room and then turned to the window, looked out at the infinity of stars before her. This was a mistake. Every part of her told her this was a mistake. But she couldn't force this on the crew, she couldn't make another alone decision. 

Moments later, the doors opened and Chakotay came in. He slowly walked over to her and stood behind her. "We've made the right decision," he said kindly.   
Janeway was a moment in answering. "Then why does every part of me say the opposite?"   
She was on the verge of tears and he saw her struggle to hold them back. He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture, but she moved away. "I've got a lot of reports to check. You take the Bridge."   
She was about to walk away from him, but Chakotay gently caught her arm. "You can't go on like this, Kathryn."   
"Like what?"   
"Shutting yourself away from everyone, denying yourself basic comfort. You're becoming more and more withdrawn and spend almost every minute of every day working."   
"I have a lot of work to get through."   
"I know you too well, Kathryn. You still blame yourself for us being stranded in this quadrant. You feel because it was your decision to destroy the array, an action that stranded us, you must deny yourself any kind of happiness."   
"No, I..."   
"Yes. You need to let go, need to stop punishing yourself for something that was out of your control..."   
She looked up at him, anger beginning to set in now. "By taking you to my bed, I suppose? That's what this is really about, isn't it? You've always made it quite clear what you want from me!"   
He wasn't going to rise to the bait. "I'm not going to let you twist this, Kathryn. Every day that passes you distance yourself more and more from those around you. You've built such a shield around yourself that not even I can penetrate it anymore. You pretend as though everything is fine, that you don't need anyone, don't need anything, but I know that you're lonely and that you're hurting deeply. You need to let someone in. You need to let someone love you."   
"You're out of line, Chakotay..."   
"No. It's the duty of a First Officer to ensure his Captain's well being in every possible way and it's the duty of a friend to speak freely. You don't have to live this way. We don't have to live this way."   
"There is no other way," she cried. "Tell me what other way there is!"   
"We acknowledge our feelings for each other and act on them, instead of trying to brush them under the carpet and pretend they don't exist."   
"Our feelings? I have never said I have feelings for you, Chakotay. I have never said it!"   
"Then tell me now! Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me!"   
The angry fire in her eyes waned as she looked into his and deep pools of tears welled there instead. He had shattered her defences, no where to hide. She averted her eyes, turned slowly away from him. "Don't do this, Chakotay," she whispered. "Please. It doesn't matter how I feel. We're Captain and First Officer. That relationship can never be compromised."   
"I'm well aware of our responsibilities, Kathryn. But that doesn't mean we can't be here for each other, comfort each other, give each other the love and support we both need. Other people on the ship manage to combine both a professional and a personal relationship and I know we could too. Look at how well Tom and B'Elanna have made it work."   
"They're not Captain and First Officer," she replied. "If they slack, we can keep them in check. If we slack, if we get too caught up in the personal, who is there to keep us in check? I need to keep some distance between us, Chakotay. I need to keep focussed on getting this ship home. I need to keep some emotional detachment. If I've become more withdrawn then it's because keeping that detachment has got harder and harder over the years. I've come to love people on this ship, come to love them deeply. A Captain is not supposed to love her crew, she's supposed to command them. I've had to withdraw myself, had to stop participating in so much social activities, and I've had to withdraw myself from you. I have to be a better captain, have to keep striving, do what it takes."   
"A better captain? You're an incredible captain."   
"No. I've failed. I've failed this crew. A better captain would have found a way of destroying the array and using it to get home. A better captain would have got her crew home by now, and a better captain wouldn't have fallen in love with her First Officer!"   
Chakotay took a deep breath. "You're being much too hard on yourself. Things didn't go the way any of us planned. But none of it is your fault. We had to destroy the array and protect the Ocampa. You made the decision all of us would have made. And people fall in love with people they work with all the time, fall in love when they least expect it. Seven years ago we were enemies and, if things had gone to plan, you would have captured me, handed me over to the Federation, and we would probably never have seen each other again. But here, on Voyager, we've had the chance to get to know each other. In getting to know each other, in supporting each other through very difficult times, we've come to care for each other, to trust each other. Love, real love, isn't something to be ashamed of, Kathryn. It's a precious gift, the most sacred gift that one person can give another."   
She looked up at him. "And the one that causes us the most pain." A tear ran down her cheek. "There are so many obstacles between us, Chakotay, so many barriers." She paused. "I know you've suffered, know you've lost people, but I'm not as strong as you. I can't allow myself to love you only to lose you. Everyday something happens that threatens our lives, hostile aliens, an anomaly... I couldn't retain objectivity in grief. I need objectivity."   
"A cotton thread above a den of lions," Chakotay said gently, "that's what you're walking here. But can it hold your weight? If something happened to me today, tomorrow, would it save you from falling into the lions den that is grief?"   
She whispered softly. "No, but I wouldn't have the memory of us to deal with."   
"No, instead you'd have the futility of regret, of missed opportunity. Which memory would you rather have?"   
She looked deep into his eyes. "I would rather have the thread." She put her hand to his cheek and another tear ran down her own. "I need that thread, Chakotay. If things were different, if we were back home, then I could dispense with it. But not here, not on Voyager. Too many people are depending on me, on us, to get them home."   
Chakotay took her hand in his. "Then I'll wait, Kathryn. I'll wait until we get home."   
"It could take years."   
"I'll wait as long as it takes."   
She shook her head. "We can't live with the promise of a tomorrow that might never come. You have to let go, Chakotay. You have to stop waiting, stop hoping."   
"I can't, Kathryn, not when we see each other every day, work together every day, and not when I know you feel the same. When you were still engaged to Mark, still in love with him, I forced myself to put you out of my mind and sometimes I was able to do that. But since the slip stream incident, things have been different. I knew then that you had feelings for me too." He paused. "I think we should make a commitment to each other, even if it's only a commitment to wait. At least then we can acknowledge our feelings, be here for each other."   
Janeway drew away from him. "That would be a dangerous game, Chakotay. First we acknowledge our feelings, then we begin to act on them, a hug here, a kiss there, and a little taste of the forbidden just makes it all the more desirable. We can't have it both ways. I know I'm boxing things, putting this in a black box, putting that in a white box, when really they all belong in a grey, but it has to be that way for me. I know it's difficult, know it's painful. But as long as we are Captain and First Officer, I need those parameters."   
Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder and this time she didn't recoil. "And I can't stand by and let you waste the best years of your life on principles and ideals that don't belong in this quadrant. I love you too much, Kathryn."   
She looked up at him. "It's my life, Chakotay."   
"But not just your heart." He paused. "At least take time to think about what I've said. You don't have to make a decision right away. But just think about it."   
"There's no point."   
"I think there's every point. You've obviously thought enough about reasons why we can't have a relationship, it's about time you began to think about reasons why we can." He paused. "I'll cook us a meal on Friday night and we can discuss things further. If you need more time, that's fine, but for now, let's make Friday a goal post. Deal?"   
Janeway hesitated, but then nodded. She then turned away from him. "Now, if that's all, you'd better go to the Bridge and take this ship out of orbit. I'm not feeling well and will be in my quarters for the rest of the day."   
"Kathryn..."   
"My final word, Chakotay. Now, get to the Bridge!"   
The tension was crushing.   
"As you were," he whispered   
.   
Once he had left the room, Janeway turned wearily from the window and sat down in her chair. She felt tired, so tired, and this complication was not what she needed right now. If only Chakotay could be content with the way things were. If only he wasn't so perceptive, wasn't able to penetrate the shields she had so carefully built around herself.   
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."   
She wearily responded. "Go ahead."   
"Ensign Kim has not reported for duty."   
"Acknowledged," she said quietly.   
"Do you wish me to speak to him once we are on course?"   
"No," she replied. "Leave it to me." 

*****

Harry lay on his couch in his quarters and stared vacantly at the ceiling. The door chime sounded, but he just ignored it. It sounded again and reluctantly he sat up. "Come in."   
Janeway entered. Harry looked away from her and did not stand up. Janeway walked over to him.   
"I'm sorry you're disappointed, Harry."   
He was a moment in answering. "It seems I'm the only one who really wants to get home."   
"You know that isn't true," she said gently.   
He looked up at her now. "Then why did we let this chance pass us by?"   
Janeway sat beside him. "There were too many risks, Harry."   
"But they were risks worth taking. If we don't take risks, we'll never get home."   
"We will get home," Janeway said firmly. "You have to keep believing that."   
"I want to, Captain," he said sadly, "but the longer we're out here, the harder it gets."   
Janeway put her hand on his. "I know. But think how far we've come in seven years. We've travelled almost half way across the galaxy. We'll make the same advances again. Just keep believing it, Harry. Just keep believing it." 

*****

The Doctor worked at a monitor, singing loudly. Seven came in and he stopped.   
"In a good mood, Doctor?"   
"I'm always in a good mood," he chirped.   
Seven looked around and saw that sickbay was deserted. "Where's Lieutenant Torres?"   
"In her quarters. She wanted to return there and as she and the baby are both in good health, I saw no reason to object." He stepped away from the monitor. "Now, how can I help you?"   
Seven hesitated. "I would like...I would like to discuss the removal of my failsafe device."   
The Doctor beamed a smile. "I thought you would change your mind...eventually. For weeks I've worked on ways to remove it, and have finally discovered a way that will allow me to remove it in one operation."   
"What are the risks?"   
"None. I have conducted holosimulation after holosimulation and every time the operation has gone smoothly."   
"When can it be done?"   
"Whenever you like," he smiled. "Now, if you want. I have no engagements this afternoon."   
Seven nodded. "That is acceptable to me."   
The Doctor stepped closer. "May I ask what changed your mind?"   
Seven hesitated. "Finding the Borg transwarp hub." She paused. "When I first came to Voyager, everyone saw me as Borg. They feared me, kept their distance, apologised if they made a negative remark about the Borg. I was Borg first, then human. But over the years I have become a part of this crew. When we were discussing whether or not to accept the Zyranth offer, I was considered part of this crew, part of this family, not Borg. There was no doubt, no suspicion. No one feared I would betray them. It made me realise that the only person who sees me as Borg is myself. The Borg robbed my parents of their lives, robbed me of my childhood. They are a race guilty of murdering billions and yet I cling to my Borg identity instead of truly embracing the humanitarian values Captain Janeway has taught me. I take refuge in denying emotion because emotion is frightening to me, but without emotion there is no compassion, no love. I did not choose to be assimilated, it was an act beyond my control. But I have control now, have a choice now, and I choose humanity." A ghost of a smile passed her lips. "It's time I allowed Anneka to live again." 

***** 

_We are approaching the USS Voyager. _   
Shannon stirred, the voice bringing her back from the brink of unconsciousness. She was so tired, so weak, and she could feel her life slowly draining away. She managed to raise herself, sit up against the wall of the shuttle. "Computer, scan the ship," she cried, "locate Captain Janeway."   
_Unable to comply. No information available for Captain Janeway_.   
"Kathryn Janeway," she corrected. "Locate Kathryn Janeway."   
_Kathryn Janeway located._   
"Where is she?"   
_Restate question._   
"What part of the ship?"   
_No information available for USS Voyager._   
Shannon took a deep breath, tried to think, think...   
"Create internal visual of USS Voyager. Show position of Kathryn Janeway."   
_Visual created._   
Shannon looked in the direction of the console. Somehow she had to get to it, but it was as if she was at the foot of a mountain looking up at the summit. She dragged herself towards it, towards her chair. She gripped the seat of her chair and tried to pull herself onto it. But it was no use. She just didn't have the strength. She wept softly and leant against the base of the chair, recovering her breath, trying to fight the blackness consuming her. She had to think. She couldn't give up now, not now.   
"Computer," she cried, "is Kathryn Janeway alone?"   
_Over 100 lifesigns onboard._   
"Locate lifesigns...Is Kathryn Janeway in a room alone?"   
Please understand, her whole being ached, please understand.   
_Kathryn Janeway is alone. _   
"Shields...are the ship's shields raised?"   
_No shields detected._   
Shannon took a breath. "Cloaking frequency," she continued, "load our cloaking frequency into a padd, display, and freeze display."   
_Request processed. _   
"Transport padd to me."   
Seconds later the padd materialised beside her. Shannon reached for it and clutched it in her hand.   
"Now, transport me to co-ordinates of Kathryn Janeway."   
_Request processed._

*****

Soft carpet replaced the cold floor of the shuttle as Shannon materialised in the Captain's quarters. She tried to focus on her surroundings, make her bearings, but the lights were dim, couldn't see. She caught her breath when she heard her mother's voice in the distance.   
"Coffee, black."   
Janeway picked up the replicated coffee, took a sip, and then turned around, about to make her way to her couch. She almost dropped her coffee when she saw the figure of a young woman lying on the floor before her. She put her coffee down on a glass table and hurried over to the girl. She was lying on her side, black hair tumbling over her face, and there were blood stains on the deep blue outfit she was wearing. Her breathing was shallow, difficult, but she was obviously conscious. The girl tried to raise herself, but fell down again. Janeway knelt beside her.   
"Lie still, you've been injured."   
Shannon looked up in the direction of the voice. She saw a blurred image of her mother's face before her. It was difficult to keep focussed now, difficult to concentrate. Janeway inhaled sharply when she saw Chakotay's tattoo emblazoned on the girl's forehead.   
"Who are you?"   
"I'm from the future," Shannon said weakly, "here to help you."   
Janeway swallowed. "The future?"   
"We were trying to stop B'Elanna. She had a temporal deflector. Her ship exploded, we got pulled into the rift. Nothing I could do..."   
Janeway drew away from her, not sure what to make of this, and afraid to believe her.   
"You need medical attention," she said briskly. "You can explain later."   
"No..." Shannon protested. "No one must know I'm here...must die...don't belong here." She stopped for breath. "I've arranged everything. My shuttle is close...cloaked...Transport me back there afterwards. I will initialize self destruct. Ship will vaporise. No one will know I was here..." She gestured to the padd in her hand. "You'll find everything you need here to locate my shuttle..."   
Janeway took the padd, studied the data on the screen. There were numbers at the top, a date, a stardate, a year, 2404.   
"You must accept the Zyranth offer," Shannon continued. "You must get Voyager home."   
Janeway put down the padd on the table, still not wanting to believe this. "From the future or not, I'm not having you suffer like this." She hit her combadge. "Janeway to the Doctor."   
Shannon's eyes flew to Janeway's face. "No, Mom...You mustn't. No one must know...please..."   
The Doctor's voice interrupted. "I'm in the middle of an operation, Captain. Is it urgent?"   
Janeway made no reply. She just stared vacantly at Shannon.   
"Captain?"   
"No, Doctor," she said quietly, "it can wait. Janeway out."   
It was a long moment before Janeway spoke again.   
"What did you just call me?"   
Tears welled in Shannon's eyes. "I called you Mom."   
Janeway drew away from her. "No, that can't be..."   
"It's true. You thought you couldn't have children, too late. But you had me, the 15th of October, 2382."   
Janeway stood up. "No, you're an imposter, a deception. You can't be my daughter!"   
"Please," Shannon cried, beginning to weep. "Please, you have to believe me...not much time...You have to accept the offer...have to get Voyager home. You can't let it happen again, not again..."   
She wept softly and her painful sobs knifed Janeway's heart. She knelt beside her again, pulled out her tricorder, and scanned her. Tachyon particles, human dna... She hit her combadge. "Janeway to Seven of Nine."   
"No," Shannon cried again, "can't know..."   
"I'm just checking something," Janeway replied.   
"Janeway to Seven."   
Again only silence answered. Seven had to be regenerating.   
"Janeway to Tuvok."   
Tuvok's voice replied. "Go ahead."   
"Have any temporal anomalies been detected in this region of space within the last few hours?"   
Tuvok was a moment in responding as he checked. "There was a temporal anomaly less than 0.3 light years away at 10:36 hours. It collapsed four minutes later."   
"Thank you," Janeway said quietly. "Janeway out."   
She turned slowly to Shannon, stared at her. This beautiful young woman couldn't be her daughter, not hers and Chakotay's. It was impossible, just impossible.   
And yet she had to be.   
There was no way the Zyranth had the technology to perform a deception like this and it was also beyond the capacity of the Borg. Unless she was dreaming, this had to be real, absolutely real. She reached out and touched Shannon's hair. It was soft, silky. Real.   
"What will happen if we don't change our minds, don't accept the offer?"   
"Over a hundred people will die," Shannon replied. "You'll be forced to settle the remaining crew on a planet."   
Janeway was silent a moment, absorbing the horror of this. "How...How will they die?"   
"An anomaly. It will come all of a sudden, nothing you can do..."   
"Tell me about the anomaly. If I know about it, I can avoid it."   
"Don't know about it, not much. It just came all of a sudden. You always regretted not accepting the offer. You told me just now, in the shuttle..." She almost gasped for breath. "Must believe me, must listen."   
"I believe you," Janeway whispered. "I believe you."   
The girl smiled softly. "Then transport me to my shuttle. Not much time...tired..."   
A tear ran down Janeway's cheek. "Do you think I'm sending any daughter of mine back to a shuttle to die alone?"   
"You must...must vaporise...no debris..."   
"I'll vaporise the shuttle from Voyager. You're staying here, understand?"   
Shannon nodded. It was so good to have her mother alive again, taking care of her. She felt her mother's hand on her shoulder. "Do you think you could make it to the couch with my help?"   
"Can try."   
It took supreme effort, but she managed to raise herself enough for Janeway to help her to her feet. Her legs were weak, could barely hold her, and all was blurred now. She collapsed onto the couch, leant breathlessly against the back of it. She was trembling violently, struggling for every breath. Janeway sat beside her and brushed the girl's hair away from her face. "You were very brave to come here, Shannon."   
"How do you...know my name?"   
"Because I always said that if I had a little girl, I would call her Shannon, after my ancestor."   
Shannon leant her head against Janeway's shoulder, and Janeway hesitantly put her arm around her.   
"You took me to the Millenium Gate," Shannon continued, "when we got back...took me there. The Zyranth came again, you see, ten years ago. They found us, helped us, transporter technology, advanced. I didn't want to go, leave Federa....was afraid. I ran away...the caves...You found me, told me it would all be alright, that I'd like Earth...nothing to fear. But I was afraid, so afraid. So many people, so much technology...We had nothing on Federa, nothing but shelters. I wanted to go back, cried every night. But I got used to Earth, even liked it." She was fighting for every breath now, fighting to stay conscious. "It will recognise your voice," she said, "the computer. You can initialise self destruct...must be self-vaporisation or it will explode ... debris... contaminate the time-line...authorisation is Janeway beta four two..."   
"I'll do that," Janeway whispered.   
Shannon nestled closer to her. "They changed colours."   
"Changed colours?"   
"The flies...lake Oranthum... You always wondered whether..."   
"Each one changed colour or each fly was a different colour."   
"Yes," Shannon smiled.   
As children, on one of many camping trips, Janeway and her sister had sat at the lakeside at midnight and watched as the flies danced over the centre of it. Her father had told her they were fairies and, as he had told her, she had believed him. She had never forgotten their beauty, the way their lights made pretty patterns against the black sky. All her adult life she had wondered whether each creature was its own colour or whether each one changed colour. She had never found out.   
"We took a boat...was fourteen...tried to catch one...tipped the boat...fell in the water...you..."   
Her voice faded into silence as the last breath left her body. Then she was still, completely still. Slowly Janeway drew away from her and Shannon's head fell back lifelessly against her arm. Janeway gazed at her tearfully, touched her face. She looked so much like Chakotay with her dark hair and dark skin and yet looking at her was almost like looking in the mirror of time and seeing a reflection of her younger self. Tearfully Janeway kissed her forehead tenderly and then lay her gently back against the couch. She took the girl's hand in hers and a tear ran down her cheek.   
"It will be better for you too," she whispered. "I promise it will be better."   


*****

Transporter room two was deserted when Janeway arrived there, just as she expected. Transporting cost energy and they tried to use as few site to site transports as was possible. She imputed the data from the padd into the computer and within seconds the computer had located a shuttle. It was travelling at the exact same speed as Voyager. Janeway touched the screen image. Touching it seemed to connect her with the shuttle somehow, made it seem more real. She fought the tears that were welling in her eyes and hurried on with the transport. She had to get this done before people started asking questions. She then hit her combadge. "Janeway to Tuvok."   
"Go ahead, Captain."   
"Report to transporter room two immediately."   
"On my way." 

Tuvok arrived within minutes.   
"What has happened, Captain?"   
"Something I can't tell you about," she replied. "Temporal prime directive. But I want you to transport me to a cloaked ship that is pursuing us."   
"Alone?"   
"It's perfectly safe." She handed him the padd. "The cloaking frequency is contained here, but I have already initialised transport. All I need you to do is energise and transport me back at my command."   
Tuvok hesitated. "I do not think I can comply, Captain, not without guarantee of your safety."   
"What you think doesn't come into this. I'm giving you a direct order. The future is at stake here and you will comply and tell no one of this, understand?"   
Tuvok nodded. "Yes, Captain." 

*****

The shuttle was bathed in a soft blue light. Janeway looked around as she materialised. The ship had taken a beating but the technology still looked impressive. Her eyes fell to the floor and she saw Shannon lying on the floor before her. She was lying rather awkwardly on a piece of broken console. Janeway knelt beside her and moved her slightly so that she lay flat on the floor.   
"Shannon?"   
Janeway froze at the sound of her own voice calling. Slowly, hesitantly, she turned in the direction of it. She gasped when she saw an older version of herself resting against the wall of the shuttle. Her head was bleeding and she was obviously dazed and in a lot of pain. It was a long moment before Janeway had the courage to go over to her.   
"I needn't ask who you are," she said quietly.   
The Admiral's eyes fluttered open and she gazed at the younger version of her self looking down at her. Then she closed her eyes again.   
"Looks like we're giving the time-police another headache," she said with a soft smile.   
"Never mind the time-police," Janeway replied, "we're giving me a headache."   
The Admiral almost chuckled, then fell serious. "Where's Shannon...my daughter...?"   
Janeway hesitated. "Shannon's dead."   
There was a long painful silence and then the Admiral began to weep softly. "I thought she was...couldn't see her...hear..."   
"I'm sorry," Janeway said gently.   
"Help me to her...please...must see her..."   
Janeway carefully helped the Admiral to Shannon. The Admiral lay on her side beside her daughter and tearfully touched her face, stroked her cheek. "I shouldn't have let her come with me," she said. "I shouldn't have allowed it." She took Shannon's hand in hers. "My darling, precious, little girl..."   
"She came to Voyager," Janeway said, struggling to hold back her tears, "transported herself. She told me what would happen if I don't accept the offer the Zyranth have made. She told me I must accept it."   
"And you must," the Admiral replied, not taking her eyes from Shannon's face for a moment. "You can't let it all happen again...not now you have the chance to put it right..."   
Janeway edged closer. "Tell me about the anomaly. Tell me how to avoid it."   
"There is no way. For the next two years you'll be travelling through dangerous space. There'll be black holes, gaseous clouds, radiation, nebulas...There will only be four or five paths you can take and every one will bring you into contact with the anomaly. To avoid it, you only have three choices. You can either reverse course and try and take Voyager home through the Gamma Quadrant, circumvent this space by going through Borg territory, or trust the Zyranth and take Voyager home through the nebula."   
Janeway was silent a moment as she absorbed this. "If we go through the Gamma Quadrant it would take decades more to get home and travelling openly through Borg space is unthinkable."   
"Which only leaves you the nebula." Her tears fell softly, steadily, falling onto Shannon's dark skin. "And you want to take Voyager through that nebula. You want it with all of your heart. Don't make the mistake I did. Don't be afraid of making an alone decision. It was right when you destroyed the array and it would be right again. Sometimes a captain has to make a decision for the whole crew. This is one of those times."   
"If you want me to accept the offer, why did you try and stop B'Elanna?"   
"Because I knew it was unlikely the Flyer would survive the kind of temporal rift she was generating." She paused. "And because even if she could survive, we don't have the right to change the future by changing the past, to choose who should live or who should die. How do you choose? How do you choose which moment of time to go back to? Do you save only the people you love? What of other people? Everyone is loved by someone." She paused again. "But what is my past hasn't happened to you yet. Your future still has to be written. My past, your future, they're both merged here in the present and the way I've come to understand it is that the temporal prime directive doesn't apply to the present, can't apply. The present is ours for the taking, for the moulding. And there is a vast difference between creating an opportunity and seizing one. All this was beyond our control, not intended. I was just about to transport to Voyager myself, tell you...but you'd raised shields...was going to send a message..." She stopped, took a breath. "You've got a second chance. Don't throw it away. You'll spend the rest of your life regretting it."   
"I will accept," Janeway said quietly. "I will take Voyager back to Zyranthium, tell Storvorak we've changed our minds."   
The Admiral smiled through tears. "With a slight modification to their proposal, of course."   
Janeway smiled in return. "Of course." She paused. "I think I had already decided...after what Shannon said. I was only here to initialise self-vaporisation."   
The Admiral turned to her now. "I always knew that would come in useful one day. It was my idea...after what happened with Henry Starling."   
"Quite an idea, I'll have to remember it."   
The Admiral turned back to her daughter. "Computer, initialise self-vaporisation in five minutes. Authorisation Janeway Beta four two."   
_Self-vaporisation sequence initiated._   
"There's one more thing before you go," the Admiral said. "Accept Chakotay's love and give him yours. Even if you don't get home, even if you have to go through the Gamma Quadrant, give him your love." She paused. "The dinner, Friday night, the thread was your answer, the necessity of the thread." A tear ran down her cheek. "But it didn't hold your weight. A year before the disaster, Chakotay was seriously injured on an away mission. He was in a coma for weeks and all that kept him alive was technology. You remembered his words...which memory. You realised then how wrong you had been, how much you wished memories of love existed in the place of regret. But still when he recovered you held back from him, wouldn't open your heart and let him in. It wasn't until Federa that you did." More tears ran down her cheek. "All those years wasted just because you were afraid of the love you had always wanted. That's the real reason, that's what frightened you, the depth of his feeling, the depth of yours. Never had you loved like that before, never had you been loved like that. But you wanted to be. All your life you had wanted to be loved just for who you were, not what you were or what you could become. But three years, that's all you had together. Chakotay died of a disease, a disease that claimed the lives of eight more of our crew. We'd lost the Doctor, didn't know how to treat them. Others, like me, recovered, only for the diesase to come back. It came back for me three years ago. Doctors were able to save me, but said without a cure I'd be lucky to live eight years. Shannon was always so worried and I worried for her. There was just the two of us, you see. Phoebe was killed in a mountain accident eighteen years ago and Mom died not long after." She paused. "But when Chakotay died, never was I sorry for what we had, never could be. I was glad of the love we had shared, so glad."   
She stroked Shannon's cheek, kissed her cheek, her forehead.   
"Go back to your ship, Captain," she said sadly, almost with contempt for her younger self. "You don't belong here."   
A tear ran down Janeway's cheek and she hit her combadge. "Janeway to Tuvok, Energise."   
Seconds later she dematerialized. Admiral Janeway lay her head on her daughter's shoulder, held her close, and wept softly. 

*****

Tuvok approached Janeway as she materialised. "Mission accomplished, Captain?"   
"We'll see, Tuvok," she said, "we'll see."   
She walked over to the console, imputed data, and studied the image of the shuttle on sensors. Moments later, it vanished. The shuttle had vaporised.   
"Mission accomplished," Janeway said, fighting the tears. She then quickly cleared the screen, erased the data. When that was done, she hit her combadge. "Janeway to Paris."   
Tom's voice sounded. "Go ahead, Captain."   
"Change course, return us to Zyranthium. Janeway out."   
Tuvok stepped closer. "Captain?"   
"I've changed my mind. We're going to accept the Zyranth's offer."   


****

**END OF CHAPTER 2**


	3. Chapter 3

****

****

**CHAPTER 3**

Shannon's perfume still lingered in the air when Janeway returned to her quarters. She looked again at the padd in her hand that belonged to another time and tenderly ran her fingers over it. She wanted to keep it, a small momento of the daughter she had borne in that time, had loved and reared. But it could fall into the wrong hands and she wanted no cloud overshadowing the crew's return to Earth. As far as they and everyone else was concerned, she had just changed her mind, decided the offer was worth taking. There was only one thing to do with the padd. She took it over to the recycler.   
"Computer, recycle."   
She watched as the padd dematerialised, disappearing forever.   
The door chime sounded. It was a moment before Janeway responded. "Come in."   
The doors opened and Chakotay came in. He went over to her. "We can't take Voyager into that nebula," he said. "It's much too dangerous."   
Janeway turned away from him. "I know," she said quietly. "I know how dangerous it is. But it's a risk we have to take."   
"But why? Why risk the lives of everyone on board? I know we're going to be travelling through dangerous space for a while, but it's a thousand times safer than taking us into a Borg infested nebula."   
Janeway turned sharply to him. "Safer? No part of this damn quadrant is safe!"   
"It's too risky, Kathryn. I know you want to get this crew home, know how much you want that. But we can't do this, not this..."   
"We have to, Chakotay. I can't tell you why, but I'm asking you to trust me, to believe me when I tell you it's..." She paused for emphasis, "better than the alternative."   
She knew he would understand those words and he did. "The temporal prime directive?"   
She nodded. "Please don't make this any harder for me than it already is. I need your support on this one."   
He hesitated, but then smiled warmly. "You have it." 

*****

  
Seven lay unconscious on a biobed in sickbay. The Doctor put a hypospray to her neck and slowly she woke up.   
"The operation was successful," the Doctor said kindly.   
Seven sat up. "I...I feel the same."   
"The difference will be subtle," he continued. "It will be your response to emotion that will change, rather than the emotions themselves. You will find it easier to express emotion, will find your emotions discover you rather than you discover them."   
Seven climbed off the biobed. "I am most grateful, Doctor."   
"Don't mention it," he smiled. "Though," he said, putting down the hypospray. "I'm not sure you will thank me for the timing."   
"What do you mean?"   
"The Captain has decided to ignore everyone's advice and accept the Zyranth offer. I believe she is discussing plans with Storvorak at this very moment. The cooler the head as we travel through that nebula, the better."   
Tuvok's voice interrupted. "Tuvok to the Doctor."   
"Yes, yes," the Doctor replied, "Seven is available for consultation now." He sighed and turned his attention to Seven. "You have been in demand all afternoon."   
"In that case, please ask her to report to the Bridge immediately."   
"No need for a relay," Seven replied. "I'm on my way, Tuvok."   
"Well," the Doctor smiled, "I'm glad to see you are still your old bashful self."   
"As you said, Doctor," Seven replied, making her way to the door. "The difference will be subtle."   
As she reached the door, she suddenly turned to him. She smiled tentatively and then more confidently as he smiled in return. She then left and the Doctor watched with holographic tears in his eyes as the silver doors shut behind her.   


*****

"I'm so glad you've changed your mind, Captain," Storvorak said, accompanying Janeway into her Ready Room.   
"There's just one modification I would like to make to your proposal," she said, turning to him.   
"What do you suggest?"   
"That we attempt to achieve both our goals together; the destruction of the hub and the return of Voyager to the Alpha Quadrant." She paused. "My concern is that once we have entered a transwarp corridor, the Borg will detect us and follow us through to the Alpha Quadrant, endangering my homeworld and the Federation. But, if you attack the hub only seconds after we have entered the aperture, that will divert all attention from us to you. We will be acting as a mutual distraction. Our presence in the aperture will cause the Borg to focus on that, reducing the chance of them detecting the presence of your fleet, and your attack on the hub will protect us."   
"It would indeed be a mutual benefit," Storvorak replied. "However, it is possible that a shockwave would follow you through an aperture or that the transwarp corridor would collapse before you made it to your destination."   
"A ten second interval between us entering the aperture and you attacking the hub would be sufficient to enable us to stay ahead of any shockwave and to make it through a transwarp corridor before it collapses." She paused. "I can't risk an attack on the Federation. If I am to use the hub to get Voyager home, it has to be with the assurance that the Borg will not follow us through, and the only certainty of that is for the hub to be destroyed once we have entered the aperture."   
Storvorak was a moment in answering as he contemplated. Then he smiled. "Then we give you that assurance. We planned to destroy the hub in a few weeks time, but we can easily reschedule."   
"How soon?"   
"Today."   
"So soon, would that be possible?"   
He smiled again. "I'll make it possible."   
"But it would take us several days to travel fifteen light years. I think tomorrow would be soon enough to begin."   
"We have technology to get there faster."   
"What kind of technology?"   
"A Karlova. It works very much like a transporter only we use it to travel quickly through space. It can send a ship as far as 50 light years in seconds."   
Janeway's eyes shone with new found hope. "Maybe we could use that technology to get home instead. We could try and adapt it to send us greater distances or just make as many jumps of 50 light years as we needed to..."   
Storvorak shook his head. "The Korlava is a thousand times the size of this ship and requires vast amounts of energy to operate. There's no way of operating it away from Zyranthium. The best we can offer you is the cloaking technology."   
Janeway's eyes dulled but she tried to hide her disappointment with a smile. "And we're very grateful."   
"You're just fearful for the safety of your crew," he said gently.   
"Yes," she replied. "But I have every faith we'll succeed." 

*****

A view of the hub filled the screen in Astrometrics. Janeway studied it, absorbing every detail. Seven entered. "The cloaking technology has been integrated into the ships systems."   
Janeway turned to her. "Has it been tested?"   
"Yes."   
"And?"   
"It works." She bridged the gap between them. "I've also had the technology fitted to the Delta Flyer, every shuttle, and escape pod, just incase we need to make an emergency evacuation. I've instructed Ensign Cattrall to modify the cloaking frequency so that if the Borg do manage to decipher Voyager's cloaking frequency, they would not at the same time discover our other vessels."   
Janeway smiled deviously. "And neither would the Zyranth be able to detect us without deciphering the frequency. Good work."   
Seven smiled warmly at her. Tears welled in Janeway's eyes and she put her hand to Seven's cheek. "You smiled, Seven," she whispered, "you smiled such a beautiful smile."   
Tears welled in Seven's eyes. "Anneka," she whispered. "I choose to be Anneka."   
A tear ran down Janeway's cheek and she drew Seven close. Seven tentatively responded and then held her tight. 

Tuvok entered the room and Janeway and Seven drew away from each other.   
"The Zyranth are ready to begin, Captain," he said.   
Janeway nodded and wiped away her tears. "Then let's do it," she said. "Let's get Voyager home." 

*****

Storvorak's face filled the Bridge viewscreen.   
"Our ships have all been transported to the nebula, Captain. We're preparing to transport you now."   
"Acknowledged," Janeway replied. She turned to Tuvok. "Mr Tuvok, engage the cloak."   
He worked the console. "Cloak engaged."   
Janeway turned back to Storvorak. "Ready when you are."   
Storvorak smiled warmly. "Good luck, Captain."   
Janeway smiled in return. "You too."   
He then began countdown. "Transporting in five, four, three, two, one..."   
Janeway closed her eyes.   
When she opened them, it was the nebula she saw on the screen before her.   
"Alright," she said, addressing the crew, "you all know what to do, all know the plan." She turned to Tom. "Mr Paris, take us in."   
"Yes, Ma'am."   
As Tom followed her order, she took her seat in the captain's chair. 

Within minutes, they were inside the nebula. The beauty was spectacular, but all attention was on the legion of Borg cubes surrounding them.   
"We're going to have to reduce speed," Tom cried, "there's just too many."   
"Go as fast as you can, Tom," Janeway replied. 

Onwards they continued through the nebula. At last, the Borg transwarp hub came into view. Janeway gazed at it. It was enormous, spreading like a parasite across the pulsating white core of the nebula. She stood up as they got closer. Apertures of flashing blue light sprawled before them, hundreds of apertures. If they took the wrong one, miscalculated their position by just a fraction, they could end up in another distant part of the galaxy, further from Earth than they were at present.   
"Are we on course, Tom?"   
"Aperture 100905 directly ahead." 

Suddenly, Seven cried out.   
Janeway turned to her. She had her hands over her ears and her breathing was rapid.   
"What is it?"   
"I can hear her..." she cried... "The Queen.. She knows...knows we're here..."   
Janeway swallowed and cast an anxious glance at Chakotay. She saw her own desperation mirrored on his face.   
"We're being surrounded," Tom cried. "We have to stop..."   
Tuvok then called out. "We're being hailed, Captain."   
Janeway could hear her heart thump in her mouth as she turned to the view screen.   
"On screen."   
The Borg Queen's face filled the view screen. She had a strange smile on her face, a glow of satisfaction. "Captain Janeway," she said with chilling calmness. "Welcome to my nebula. I wondered how long it would take for you to discover my treasure. It is the envy of many species, including your new found friends." She almost laughed. "Oh yes, I know all about them. I have observed them come and go for years. A very primitive and chaotic species, not at all worthy of assimilation. They would only detract from perfection."   
Janeway looked around at the crew. There was fear on every face. She struggled not to cry. This was her doing, all hers. The crew had made it clear how they felt about entering the nebula. She should have listened to them, should never have risked this. She should have opted for the Gamma Quadrant. Why hadn't she opted for the Gamma Quadrant? She had learnt long ago that it never paid to take short cuts.   
"What is the matter, Captain? Thought you could make it through my little nebula without my knowing?"   
"You won't assimilate us," Janeway said as firmly as she could. "We'll destroy ourselves before we give ourselves to you."   
"Noble, but unnecessary," the Queen continued. "I will allow Voyager to pass safely through the aperture so long as I have something in return."   
"What do you want?"   
The Queen smiled. "I want you, Captain Janeway."   
Seven stepped forward. "Take me..."   
Janeway turned to her sharply. "Keep out of this!"   
"Don't worry, Captain," the Queen smirked. "I am not interested in your little prodigy anymore. She is neither human or Borg. She is imperfection. But you, you are humanity at its greatest. You will be a useful subject, a worthy equal."   
Janeway didn't hesitate with her response."Alright. You have a deal." There was no other choice, no other way out for the crew.   
Chakotay turned to her desperately. "Captain..."   
Janeway ignored him. "My life for the safe passage of Voyager through the hub."   
Chakotay seized her. "You can't do this. We'll fight our way out. We'll find another way."   
Janeway looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes. "There is no other way, Chakotay."   
His hold on her tightened, bruising her. "I won't let you do this."   
"My mind's made up." A tear ran down her cheek and her voice fell to a whisper.   
"Now, let go of me, please."   
There was such infinite pain and longing in her eyes that all Chakotay could do was release her. He watched through blurred vision as Janeway turned back to the viewscreen. The Queen smiled. "I knew you would be reasonable. Now, lower your shields so that I can transport you."   
"No," Janeway said firmly. "If I do that, I render Voyager defenceless. I will raise shields around my ready room only."   
The Queen nodded. "As you wish."   
Janeway turned to Tuvok. "On my command, Tuvok." She then looked around at her beloved crew for the last time. The fear in their eyes was accompanied with infinite pain now. At last her eyes met Chakotay's. They were wet with tears. "Don't," he whispered... "Please."   
She stepped closer, put her hand on his shoulder. "Just get our crew home, Chakotay. Just get them home."   
Before tears overwhelmed her, she turned away, and as quickly as she could made her way to the Ready Room. 

*****

Inside her Ready Room, Janeway leant back against the door and fought to suppress the torrent of emotions overwhelming her. She wiped away her tears, tried to take deep breaths to calm herself. This would work, the crew would be saved. She had to believe that, had to fight the fear inside that this was just a game the Queen was playing and the crew would be killed or assimilated anyway. Outside the window she could see Borg cubes everywhere. They were all watching, all waiting. She looked around her Ready Room, cast everything to memory one last time, and then hit her combadge. "Janeway to Tuvok. Lower shields."   
Shields lowered and she dematerialised.   


*****

When she rematerialised, the Borg Queen was standing before her.   
"Welcome to your new home."   
Janeway looked around, looked up. Silver structures seemed to stretch for infinity all around her. She had to be deep inside the hub. To her right was a large viewscreen. It showed Voyager's Bridge and again tears welled in her eyes when she saw her beloved crew, her friends, standing at their stations. The Queen turned to face them. "You may resume your journey."   
The image on the screen faded as the transmission ended and was replaced with an external view of the ship. Amongst the Borg cubes were dozens of Zyranth ships, their cloaking technology useless. The Queen's fingers spidered over the image. "So kind of your new friends to offer you protection." She stepped closer to Janeway. "But their visits are becoming more and more frequent and I don't like that. As they are not worthy of assimilation, I may have to destroy them instead." She tipped her head at an angle and skimmed her hand sensually over Janeway's hair. "But we won't worry about that today. Today we shall get you acquainted with your new home. As a human you have such specific needs. We may have to find a way of modifying them but still keep your individuality intact. Perhaps I should partly assimilate you." She circled Janeway slowly, ran her eyes over her body. "But I need to learn everything about human nature and that includes the physical aswell as the mental. There is only so much pain a human being can tolerate before he or she will cave in to demand. The human will is weak. Human beings are weak. And their greatest weakness is love. It is so easy to manipulate a human when they love. You would rather have died the worst death a human could die than give yourself to me, but for the love of your crew, you gave yourself without hesitation. Love. It is the emotion you regard above all others, the emotion you regard as your strength, but that strength is your weakness. It will always make you vulnerable, will always be your defeat. It is better not to love. It is better not to feel. Emotion is irrational, chaotic, unpredictable. It detracts from reason, detracts from purpose." She came full circle and her face flew to the viewscreen. Voyager was still stationary. "They have not moved. Why have they not moved?"   
"Perhaps because they have just lost their captain," Janeway said, trying not to betray her fear. This seemed to pacify the Queen. "And now are like motherless little children." She turned again to Janeway. "That is why it is better to be governed by one mind, one thought. No division, no hesitation."   
Janeway stared at the screen and willed for Voyager to start for the hub.   
"But, I must confess, individuality has its attractions too. I am billions of voices, but billions of voices are my voice, my thoughts. I have no one to talk too, no one to challenge me, no one to...stimulate me. But not anymore, now I have you. I have searched long for an equal, someone to be my companion, my lover."   
At last Voyager began to move towards the aperture. Janeway's whole being sighed in relief. She watched as it drew closer and closer to the aperture and then disappeared into the blue portal. She closed her eyes, let the emotion engulf her. Voyager was going home. Her mission was complete.   
"They are gone," the Queen said.   
Janeway opened her eyes and almost gasped when she saw the Queen's cold eyes looking into hers. The Queen touched Janeway's face. "I am all that you have now."   
Suddenly the hub began to shake.   
The Queen drew away. "We are under attack."   
Janeway met her eyes with boldness. "It looks like you underestimated the Zyranth."   
The silver structure began to collapse and both Janeway and the Queen were thrown to the floor. Gigantic bolders crashed all around them, the sound deafening, and ferocious flames appeared out of no where. Janeway crawled away from the flames, away from the smoke that was choking her. Through the black smoke, she saw the Borg Queen squirm on the floor. She raised her hand to her mouth and almost heaved when she saw that the Queen's body was broken in two. Her lower body was trapped beneath a bolder but she had divorced herself from it and crawled about on her arms, her spine trailing behind her. She span around faster and faster as she desperately tried to find an escape from the consuming fire. But she was trapped. More bolders fell and the flames rushed towards her. The Queen screamed in absolute agony and her tortured cry echoed all around. Janeway turned away, buried her head in her arms and waited for death to end this horror.   


*****

Everyone on Voyager's Bridge stared at the scene of open space before them on the viewscreen. Federation ships were everywhere, and there, clearly visible in the distance, was the planet they had all waited seven years to see. Tears shone in everyone's eyes and they all battled between the conflicting emotions of joy and grief. For a long time no one spoke, no one moved. At last, Tuvok spoke from the Captain's chair. "Ensign Kim, disengage the cloak and hail Starfleet Command."   
"No," Harry replied. "Not yet. Let's wait, please... a few more minutes."   
There was such desperation in Harry's eyes that even Tuvok's Vulcan heart was moved.   
"Very well," he replied. "We will wait."   
A few more minutes was all it would take for the transwarp corridor to collapse.   


*****

Chakotay's brow was dripping with sweat as he maneovered the Delta Flyer through flames. He yelled desperately into his combadge. "Do we have her?"   
The Doctor's voice responded "Yes. Yes we have her."   
Chakotay breathed deeply in infinite relief.   
On the viewscreen before him, apertures beckoned. They were collapsing, falling away, but several were not yet effected. He increased speed and at maximum warp took the Flyer into an aperture.   


Janeway stirred on a biobed. She opened her eyes, tried to focus on her surroundings, but everything was a blur. Slowly the mist before her eyes began to clear. The image of a familiar face began to form above her.   
"Doctor?"   
"That's right, Captain."   
She tried to move, to speak, to ask what was going on, but her body felt as though it was still on fire and her chest was heaving. She felt a cold sensation against her neck, and slowly her chest loosened and the pain began to subside.   
"Commander Chakotay and I stayed behind on the Delta Flyer to rescue you. Thanks to Seven's idea of modifying the cloaking frequency, we were able to leave Voyager undetected by the Borg. We managed to trace you and transport you here. You're suffering from Asphyxiation and burns but you're going to be just fine."   
"Where...where are we?"   
"I don't know, Captain. The Commander was going to try and take us through the aperture after Voyager, but he may have had to take us out of the nebula." He put the hypospray against her neck again. "Now, I'm going to put you to sleep so I can I treat your burns."   
Mist covered her eyes again and soon she was asleep.   


Chakotay wiped the sweat off his brow as he piloted the Delta Flyer through the transwarp corridor. The passage way was becoming narrower and narrower. If they didn't reach the other end soon, he would have to exit the corridor or they would all be crushed to death as the corridor collapsed. 30 seconds....25...20... Still the corridor stretched out long before them. 15 seconds... It was no use. He would have to exit the corridor... He steered the ship sharply to the right and ploughed through the pulsating blue walls of the aperture. For a moment the ship shook violently and he thought it was going to explode, but then black replaced blue. They were in open space. Chakotay took deep breaths, calming himself.   
"What happened?"   
Chakotay turned to the Doctor who had made his way to the cabin.   
"I had to take us out of the transwarp corridor. It was going to collapse...no time."   
The Doctor put his hand on Chakotay's shoulder. "You did well, Commander, remarkably well."   
"How's the Captain?"   
There was such dread in Chakotay's eyes as he asked, such fear and pain. "She's going to be fine, Commander," he said gently.   
Chakotay buried his head in his hands, the relief overwhelming.   
"We got her just in time. She's suffered Asphyxiation and some third degree burns, but I'm in the process of treating them. She won't be scarred." He looked out at the space before them. "Are we still in the Delta Quadrant?"   
"I don't know where we are," Chakotay replied. "If I took the right aperture, we should be somewhere in the Alpha Quadrant, but where I just don't know. It's going to take me a while to locate our exact position as some of our systems were damaged when I took us out. In the meantime I'm going to send out an automated distress call to Voyager, just incase they're nearby. You finish treating the Captain."   
"Yes, Commander." 

*****

The Voyager Bridge crew watched on screen as the transwarp corridor disappeared. Harry closed his eyes, clenched his fist, and tried to hold back the tears, the growing anger of grief. Tuvok's voice once again broke the silence.   
"Ensign Kim, I repeat my request."   
Harry didn't respond, couldn't respond.   
"Ensign Kim," Tuvok repeated.   
Seven interrupted. "Wait...we're receiving a message." She worked her console. "It's an automated distress call...from the Delta Flyer."   
Harry looked up, hope replacing despair, and worked his own console. "0.324 light years away," he cried. "Two lifesigns... and the Doctor." Happy tears welled in his eyes. "They made it."   
Tom smiled joyfully. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's respond to their message and go get them!" 

*****

Chakotay gazed at Janeway sleeping on the biobed before him. A white blanket covered her body to her shoulders but there was no sign of injury as he looked at her now. She looked so beautiful asleep, so vulnerable. But then, she had always seemed vulnerable to him. He took her hand in his and held it tight as the Doctor woke her. Her eyes fluttered open and he squeezed her hand as they rested on his face.   
"We're in the Alpha Quadrant," he smiled through tears. "Voyager too. They're coming to get us."   
Tears welled in Janeway's eyes.   
"We did it," he continued. "We got Voyager home."   
A tear ran down her cheek and then she reached out and took the Doctor's hand in her other.   
"I should be angry with you both," she said tearfully, "I should be furious with you for risking your lives to save me..." Her voice fell to a whisper. "But thank you."   
Chakotay squeezed her hand and she squeezed his in return.   
  


*****

Everyone on the Bridge stood when Janeway and Chakotay entered and Janeway could hardly hold back the tears as the crew applauded.   
Harry approached her. "We haven't contacted Starfleet Command or disengaged the cloak yet. We wanted you to make 'first contact'."   
Janeway put her hand on his shoulder and nodded in appreciation. She then took her position on the Bridge and Chakotay followed her.   
"Alright, Mr Tuvok," she cried, "disengage the cloak and hail Starfleet Command."   
Moments later, Admiral Paris appeared on the viewscreen.   
Janeway smiled warmly. "Good day, Sir."   
For a moment the Admiral struggled with his own emotions. "Welcome back."   
"Sorry to surprise you. Next time we'll call ahead."   
He smiled at that. "How did you...?"   
"It will all be in my reports, Sir."   
He nodded. "I'll look forward to it."   
The link ended.   
Janeway sat down. She gazed tearfully at the view of Earth on the viewscreen and it was a moment before she was able to find her voice. "Mr Paris, set a course...for home."   


*****

Crowds waited in anticipation for USS Voyager to emerge from the skies. When the ship finally appeared, the crowd began to cheer and hundreds of fireworks lit the San Francisco sky. Slowly the ship landed. It seemed an eternity to those watching before the crew began to emerge. At last a door opened and silver stairs lowered to the ground. In twos, the crew began to descended the stairs, lowest ranks first. 

Inside, the Bridge was almost deserted. Chakotay and Tuvok had left to organise the evacuation, Harry had left to disembark, and Tom and left to join B'Elanna and Miral. Janeway looked one last time around her beloved Bridge. She didn't know what the future held, but she knew that her time as Captain of this vessel was over. Tears welled in her eyes. She loved the ship as dearly as she loved her crew. It had carried them safely across seventy thousand light years in the journey of a lifetime and it had been her home for seven years. She could hear Harry now, telling her they were on the otherside of the galaxy. She could see Chakotay standing before her, an angry warrior aiming his phaser at her. She could hear herself give the order to destroy the array, could hear B'Elanna protest... So much had changed over the years. Two rivalling crews had become one, had become friends, had become a family. The journey had changed all of them, had changed her. She felt a twinge of sadness as she remembered the younger more idealistic Kathryn Janeway who had so eagerly set off from Deep Space Nine seven years ago. She had been so open with her feelings then, so ready to give and receive affection. All these years of having to bury Kathryn away so deep inside the Captain had taken their toll and showing her feelings wasn't always easy now. She hoped she could get to know Kathryn again, could finally set her free.   
"Captain."   
Janeway turned around at the sound of Seven's voice. She was still standing at her post, a solitary figure in the otherwise deserted Bridge.   
Janeway walked over to her. "What is it?"   
"Who do I leave with? I have no rank."   
Janeway put hand on Seven's shoulder. "You can leave with me." 

As the senior crew emerged from the ship, the roar of the crowd rose. The Doctor bowed at the cheers until a sharp 'Doctor' from B'Elanna reprimanded him. She was still rather sore after the birth and clung to Tom's arm as he carried Miral. Chakotay and Tuvok followed, then Seven and Janeway. As Janeway appeared, the cheers of the crowd were deafening. Janeway looked out at the sea of people before her and acknowledged them. At the foot of the stairs, close family had gathered to welcome back their loved ones. Janeway watched as her crew embraced their mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, and children. A lump gathered in her throat as she caught a glimpse of her own mother and sister amongst the crowd. She felt Seven draw closer to her, as though she was seeking protection. Janeway turned to her and noticed she was trembling slightly. "All these people, Captain...all here just to welcome us...Strangers..."   
Janeway linked her arm with Seven's. "That's humanity." 

B'Elanna and Tom were greeted by Admiral Paris and his wife as they reached the ground and the Doctor was greeted by Reg Barclay. Tuvok's wife and children were waiting for him and Chakotay embraced his sister. As Seven reached the ground with Janeway, her aunt approached her. Seven hesitated but Janeway gently encouraged her to go and greet her aunt. As Seven did, Janeway turned to her own family waiting to greet her. Her mother opened her arms to her and Janeway embraced her tearfully. She then embraced her sister. The excited barking of a dog forced them apart. Janeway turned to her left and saw Molly standing beside her sister. The dog was wagging her tail wildly, hungering for attention. Janeway obliged and laughed as Molly licked her face incessantly.   
"I never thought she would remember me," she said. "I never thought."   
"When weeks turned into months and she began to realise you weren't coming back," Phoebe said, "she started to pine terribly. She wouldn't eat or drink and just sat in the hall waiting for you to come for her. Mark didn't know what to do for her so we took her in. We thought it might comfort her to hear your voice, so we played one of your many farewells. Her ears picked up and she sat in front of the screen just watching you and listening to you saying you would be home soon. She even barked when you said her name. We've had to play it for her all these years."   
Janeway's tears fell into the dog's red fur. "I'm home now, Molly. I'm home now." 

*****

Music and laughter echoed around a luxurious complex as the crew of the USS Voyager celebrated their triumphant return with their family and friends. The Doctor was in his element with all the attention he was getting. Never before had people been so interested in what he had to say. From a corner of the room, Chakotay watched him.   
"I'm glad the Doctor's fitting in so well," he said to Ayala who was standing beside him.   
"I don't think the Doctor would find it hard to fit in anywhere," Ayala smiled.   
Chakotay's view of the Doctor was blocked as Tom approached them.   
"Didn't expect to see you here, Tom," he said. "I thought you'd be keeping B'Elanna company at your parents house."   
"She wanted me to stay," he replied, taking a glass of champagne that a young waitress offered him on a tray. "She said one of us should be here."   
Chakotay and Ayala also took a glass.   
"Is your sister still here?" Tom asked Chakotay. "I was hoping to meet her."   
"No," he replied. "I think it was hard for her, being around Starfleet and, well, to tell the truth we've never been that close."   
"I'm sorry."   
"She never understood why I wanted to leave the tribe. She thought by leaving I was rejecting my family, rejecting my culture and heritage. She just couldn't understand how drawn I was to the world beyond our world, how much I wanted to explore other worlds, other cultures. I don't think she will ever really forgive me for not being there when the Cardassians attacked." He paused sadly. "But enough about me. What about you? What are you planning to do now that we're home?"   
"I thought I would try my hand at writing holonovels."   
"Well," Ayala smiled, "I'm sure Captain Proton will be very popular."   
Tom looked around. "Where's the Captain?"   
"In a media conference," Chakotay replied.   
"Already?"   
"Our return is big news. Everyone wants to speak to her."   
"There's a lot of interest in Seven too," Ayala added.   
They were interrupted by the sound of Barclay hitting his glass from the stage. They turned to look at him.   
"Ladies and Gentleman, if I may have your attention please."   
Silence descended on the room.   
"I would just like to interrupt your party for a moment to give you cause for further celebration. The Federation has just announced that for the great courage and dedication shown by all Maquis members of this crew, no charges will be brought against any of you."   
Everyone in the room applauded at that news and turned to look at Chakotay and other former Maquis. Chakotay smiled in acknowledgement and then watched with mixed feelings as his former crew members celebrated.   
"Well," Tom said as the applause faded. "That was unexpected."   
"Not really," Chakotay replied. "I was half expecting them to do it. They got rid of the Maquis problem over three years ago. If they put us all on trial it would open up old wounds they would rather keep sealed." He paused, contemplating, but then smiled. "But, political or not, it sure is welcome news."   
"You can say that again," Tom said. "I know B'Elanna has worried more about what would happen when we got home than she has let on." He held up the glass of champagne in his hand. "To new beginnings."   
Chakotay and Ayala hit his glass with their own. "To new beginnings." 

*****

Question after question was fired at Janeway as she was interviewed by a room full of eager reporters. Her head was spinning from trying to look from side to side as the questions were asked.   
"After you destroyed the array and were stranded in the Delta Quadrant, did you ever think you would see Earth again?"   
"Yes," she replied. "I never stopped believing we would make it home and dedicated myself completely to that end."   
"Some would say destroying the array was a violation of the Prime directive. What is your response?"   
"We were in a position to save an entire civilisation from annihilation by an enemy. We could not allow millions of innocent Ocampas to die."   
"Before Voyager was stranded in the Delta Quadrant, you were engaged to be married. How did you feel when you found out your fiance had married someone else?"   
"We had no way of communicating with the Federation and letting our loved ones know what had happened to us. We knew everyone would assume we were dead. The first few months in the Delta Quadrant were emotionally hard for all of us. As our loved ones grieved back home, we grieved too. I accepted very early on that my fiance would move on with his life. I hope he and his wife are very happy."   
"Is it true that for the first three years of your journey you confined the Maquis to the Cargo Bay?"   
"No, that isn't true. We made no distinction between Maquis and Starfleet. We were one crew, one family."   
"Is it true that you and Commander Chakotay, former Maquis rebel, have been romantically involved for some time?"   
"The Commander and I have long cared for each other, but we have never compromised our professional relationship by pursuing a personal one."   
"Now that you are no longer Captain and Officer, will you pursue a relationship?"   
Janeway hesitated. "No comment."   
"Is it true you used a Borg transwarp hub to get Voyager home?"   
"Yes, it's true."   
"And that you sacrificed yourself to the Borg Queen in order for Voyager to pass safely through the hub, knowing you would die when the hub was destroyed?"   
"Yes," she replied uncomfortably. "My life would have been a small price to pay."   
"Will the destruction of the hub have destroyed the Borg?"   
"No, but it will have put an end to their dominance in that region of the Delta Quadrant and have saved the lives of millions throughout the galaxy who would have been captured and assimilated."   
A Starfleet Officer approached Janeway. "Captain Janeway, thank you for your time in holding this conference. I know you must be eager to return to the company of your family and friends." He turned to the audience. "Let us have only one more question please."   
"Starfleet has declared that you will be made an Admiral for getting Voyager home and for your many accomplishments in the Delta Quadrant. How do you feel about that?"   
Janeway smiled. "I am delighted, and feel very, very, honoured." 

*****

Janeway's mother and sister were waiting for her when she returned to the party. It took her a few minutes to make it over to them as she was constantly stopped by people who wanted to talk to her. She was glad to at last reach her destination. Her mother offered her a glass of champagne and Janeway gladly took it.   
"How was it?"   
"Let's just say," she replied with a smile, "it makes fighting the Borg seem like a piece of cake." She took a sip of her drink. "Mmmm...real champagne."   
"And you have cause to celebrate. While you were in the conference, an announcement was made. The Federation are not bringing charges against the Maquis members of your crew."   
Janeway looked up at her mother, her eyes shining. "They aren't?"   
"No, in honour of their bravery and service, they said." She paused. "It's more likely a publicity stunt."   
"I don't care what it is," Janeway said happily. "This is just wonderful news, just wonderful..."   
Her sister laughed. Janeway turned to her. "What is it?"   
"The irony. The only reason you got stranded in the Delta Quadrant in the first place was because you were on a mission to capture the Maquis. You wouldn't have celebrated seven years ago if you had risked life and limb to capture them only to have no charges brought against them."   
"No, I don't suppose I would have," Janeway smiled. She then fell serious. "But I was a different person then, we were all different people. I didn't know Chakotay then the way I know him now, didn't know B'Elanna, Ayala, and the others. I was a naive first time captain who believed the Federation and Starfleet could do no wrong." She paused. "No people should have had to suffer the way Chakotay's people suffered at the hands of the Cardassians. I can't imagine what Chakotay was going through."   
Her mother put her hand on her shoulder. "Chakotay is a good man. But not all the Maquis were like him, in it for principle. Some were just looking for a fight and inflicted a lot of pain on innocent people."   
"I know. I was fortunate it was Chakotay commanding that Maquis ship and not someone who would have killed me and seized Voyager for himself."   
The Doctor approached them. "Captain, Mrs Janeway and..." he paused, uncertain.   
"My sister, Phoebe," Janeway smiled.   
"Yes," he said, "I can see the resemblance now."   
He held out his hand to each of them in turn and they both shook his hand.   
Janeway turned again to him. "Are you enjoying the party, Doctor?"   
"I certainly am, Captain. Everyone is so charming and friendly and so interested in my work on Voyager. Do you know, Mrs Janeway, that there was hardly any disease or injury I was unable to cure or heal? Even on the rare occasions when I couldn't find a cure, such as when the Captain and Commander were both bitten by an insect and had to be left behind on a planet, I managed to obtain a cure from the Vidians."   
"All alone of course, Doctor," Janeway teased.   
"Well, I had a little help from the Bridge, of course," he added, "but it was thanks to me you were able to return to Voyager. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be on that planet now, probably nothing but skeletons." He turned again to Janeway's mother. "When your daughter was critically injured in a shuttle crash and her cerebal cortex was invaded by an alien, it was me who managed to expul it. When your daughter suffered severe neurological damage after a power surge, it was thanks to my ingenuity that she..."   
"Doctor," Janeway interrupted. "A party really isn't the place to tell a mother about the many brushes with death her daughter has had."   
"Of course not," the Doctor apologised. "I'm sorry."   
Chakotay approached them. Janeway smiled happily at him. "I just heard the news, Chakotay. It's the greatest welcoming home gift we could have had."   
He nodded, but there was an unmistakable sadness in his eyes, and he seemed distant, hesitant. "Captain," he said quietly, "something's come up...something... Can we talk?"   
Janeway nodded. "Let's go outside," she said kindly. "I could do with some fresh air."   


*****

A bright moon shone down on a beautifully cultivated garden. It was past midnight and the garden was almost deserted. Janeway looked up at the moon as she walked with Chakotay. It was a vision she had too often taken for granted in the past, but a sight that meant so much now. They walked through an avenue of trees and reached a secluded part of the garden. There was a small wooden bench opposite a bed of white flowers that glowed in the moonlight. They wandered over to it and sat down. Chakotay had barely said two words since they had left the party and he was still silent now.   
"You said something had come up," Janeway began gently. "Is that true or did you just want to speak to me about what we were discussing this morning?"   
"Both," he said softly. He then looked up at her. "Professor Anderson has offered me a place on a five year excavation expedition that will be leaving next month for a newly discovered planet in deep space."   
Tears welled in Janeway's eyes and she looked away. "I see." She hesitated before asking the next question. "Will you accept?"   
"That depends on you." Chakotay took her hand in his. "I love you, Kathryn. I fell in love with you the moment you started giving orders on the Bridge that very first day we met. Over the years I've come to love and need you more than I ever thought one person could love and need another." He paused, every word costing him dearly. "This morning you told me that if we were home, if we were not Captain and Officer any more, there would be a chance for us. I need to know if you meant it."   
Janeway broke away from him, stood up. "I don't want to stand in your way, to stop you doing what you've always wanted."   
Chakotay stood up and gently turned her towards him. "There will be other expeditions, other opportunities, opportunities here on Earth. All I want is you, Kathryn, just you."   
Janeway looked up at him and a tear ran down her cheek. "Then I'm yours."   
They gazed deep into each others eyes and Chakotay's tears fell in rhythm to hers. He touched her face tenderly, as though he was touching a precious gem, and then slowly, slowly, brought his lips down to hers. He kissed her softly, gently, kissing her with all the tenderness of his love. Janeway tentatively slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him in return. Then they held each other tight and savoured the closeness that had been denied them so long.   


*****

The party was still in full swing when Janeway and Chakotay returned. They both took a glass of champagne as they entered the hall, and then, arms linked, made their way through the crowd. For the first time in seven years, Janeway felt completely at peace, completely happy, and knew Chakotay felt that way too. They were stopped just before reaching her mother and sister by Harry who was eager to introduce his parents.   
"Captain," he smiled, "I would like to introduce you to my parents."   
Janeway turned to them and held out her hand. "Mr and Mrs Kim, I'm delighted."   
After they had both shaken her hand, Harry gestured to Chakotay. "This is Commander Chakotay. He was our First Officer."   
"Pleased to meet you both," Chakotay smiled, and also shook their hands.   
"I am so very very proud of my son, Captain," Mrs Kim began, tears welling in her eyes. "And I know you must be proud of him too."   
"Very proud."   
"To be put in command at such a young age, to be given such responsibility..."   
Janeway shared an amused glance with Chakotay and Harry's face flushed red.   
"The night shift, Mom," he said, "I was only put in charge of the night shift."   
"No difference," she continued. "Night or day, what does it matter? Command is command..."   
"Yes, but the Captain..."   
Janeway put her hand on Harry's shoulder. "Your mother's right to be proud, Harry. Over the past seven years you've exceeded my expectations in every way. You've proved yourself to be an exceptional officer and I have no doubt that one day you will be an exceptional captain."   
Mrs Kim beamed with pride and wiped away a tear.   
"Thank you for bringing him safely back to us, Captain."   
Tears welled in Janeway's eyes at that and all she could do was take the woman's hand in hers and squeeze it.   
The sound of chiming glass suddenly cut through the air, demanding their attention. They turned in the direction of the noise and Barclay was once more on the stage.   
"Ladies and gentlemen," he cried, "if I could have your attention once more, please. Admiral Paris would like to say a few words."   
Admiral Paris stepped forward and after a moment of fondly viewing the crowd before him, began to speak.   
"The first time I met Kathryn Janeway, she was a young cadet looking for a supervisor for her Junior Honours thesis. There were plenty of Academy professors on offer, but no, Kathryn Janeway wanted me to be her supervisor. Of course, I was far too busy and distinguished to be concerned about a Junior Honours thesis, and politely told her to come back in a year when she was ready to work on her senior thesis. But Cadet Janeway wouldn't settle for that. So I told her to do the impossible, told her to get a thesis proposal to me by 0800 hours on Monday morning, and then I would consider whether I would take her on or not. That gave her only four days to write it, and I believed that was the last I would see of the young, presumptuous, cadet. But there, on my desk at 0800 hours on Monday morning, was the best thesis proposal I had ever read. And so I became her supervisor, and so began our many years of working together. I knew she would make a great captain one day, but not even I could have imagined how great. To find yourself in command of a vessel on the other side of the galaxy, 75,000 light years and a lifetime's journey from the Federation, would be a terrifying experience for any captain, but to destroy an array that was the only known gateway home in order to save the lives of strangers, was an act that took immense courage. For three years we mourned the loss of those on board Voyager, a very personal loss for me as my own son was on board, but as soon as we found out the Voyager crew were alive after all, I knew that if anyone could get the ship home, it was Kathryn Janeway. And now, after Seven years, Voyager is home. No Captain in the history of Starfleet has accomplished what Kathryn Janeway has accomplished by bringing Voyager home. And that is not all she has achieved. For seven years she has guided her crew through hostile alien territory and has made contact with more species than any Captain since James Kirk. In all that time, and in all that she has done, she never forgot what it was to be a Starfleet Captain, and has never wavered in her dedication to get her crew home. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Captain Kathryn Janeway."   
Janeway took to the stage to rapturous applause.   
"Thank you, thank you," she smiled. "First of all, I would like to say _how_ good it is to be here." She paused as the audience reacted. "If there's one thing we've all learnt over the past seven years, it's the importance of the place we call home. I never stopped believing we would make it home, and the reason I believed it so completely was because I had such a wonderful, dedicated, crew. Captains need to trust their crew as much as a crew needs to trust their Captain, and my trust in my crew was absolute. We were a family, and like every family, we helped each other through difficult times and we rejoiced together in triumphant ones. We laughed together, we cried together, and we even played together on the holodeck. I am so proud to have been Captain of so great a crew and part of such a wonderful family." She paused. "I would like to raise a toast to the most extraordinary journey of our lives, and to those we lost along the way, and to those we found, especially Neelix and Kes, the first friends we made in the Delta Quadrant, and who we will remember with love and gratitude always." She raised her glass. "To the journey."   
The crowd echoed in unison. "To the journey."   


****

** THE END**


End file.
